Karachi Xpress
Chairman of Selectors
- Joined
- Jul 25, 2005
- Location
- Canada
^^ Already posted a few pages ago
The Jokes Thread
- Thread starter scorpion_rulezz
- Start date
A young man went to his father one day to tell him that he wanted to get married.
His father was happy for him. He asked his son who the girl was, and he told him that it was Samantha a girl from the neighborhood. With a sad face the old man said to his son, 'I'm sorry to say this son but I have to. The girl you want to marry is your sister, but please don't tell your mother.
The young man again brought 3 more names to his father but ended up frustrated cause the response was still the same.
So he decides to go to his mother. 'Mama I want to get married but all the girls that I love, dad said they are my sisters and I mustn't tell you.
His mother smiling said to him, Don't worry my son, you can marry any of those girls.
You're not his son!!
yogy added 6 Minutes and 48 Seconds later...
Four friends, who hadn't seen each other in 30 years, reunited at a party
After several drinks, one of the men had to use the rest room.
Those who remained talked about their kids.
The first guy said, 'My son is my pride and joy. He started working at a
successful company at the bottom of the barrel. He studied Economics and
Business Administration and soon began to climb the corporate ladder and now
he's the president of the company. He became so rich that he gave his best
friend a top of the line Mercedes for his birthday.'
The second guy said, 'Darn, that's terrific! My son is also my pride and joy. He
started working for a big airline, then went to f light school to become a pilot.
Eventually he became a partner in the company, where he owns the majority of its
assets He's so rich that he gave his best friend a brand new jet for his
birthday.'
The third man said: 'Well, that's terrific! My son studied in the best
universities and became an engineer. Then he started his own construction
company and is now a multimillionaire. He also gave away something very nice and
expensive to his best friend for his birthday: A 30,000 square foot mansion.'
The three friends congratulated each other just as the fourth returned from the
restroom and asked: 'What are all the congratulations for?'
One of the three said: 'We were talking about the pride we feel for the
successes of our sons. ...What about your son?'
The fourth man replied: 'My son is gay and makes a living dancing as a stripper
at a nightclub.'
The three friends said: 'What a shame... what a disappointment .'
The fourth man replied: 'No, I'm not ashamed. He's my son and I love him. And he
hasn't done too bad either. His birthday was two weeks ago, and he received a
beautiful 30,000 square foot mansion, a brand new jet and a top of the line
Mercedes from his three boyfriends.'
yogy added 1 Minutes and 42 Seconds later...
O Lord, hear my anxious plea
Calculus is killing me
I know not of 'dx' or 'dy'
And probably won't until the day I die.
Please, Lord, help me in this hour
As I take my case to the highest power.
I care not for fame or loot
Just help me find one square root.
And Lord, please let me see
One passing mark in organic chemistry.
Oh such a thing I constantly dread
I'd just as soon join the Marines instead.
Lord, please give me a sign
That you've been listening all the time.
Please lead me out of this constant coma
And give me a shot at my diploma.
His father was happy for him. He asked his son who the girl was, and he told him that it was Samantha a girl from the neighborhood. With a sad face the old man said to his son, 'I'm sorry to say this son but I have to. The girl you want to marry is your sister, but please don't tell your mother.
The young man again brought 3 more names to his father but ended up frustrated cause the response was still the same.
So he decides to go to his mother. 'Mama I want to get married but all the girls that I love, dad said they are my sisters and I mustn't tell you.
His mother smiling said to him, Don't worry my son, you can marry any of those girls.
You're not his son!!
yogy added 6 Minutes and 48 Seconds later...
Four friends, who hadn't seen each other in 30 years, reunited at a party
After several drinks, one of the men had to use the rest room.
Those who remained talked about their kids.
The first guy said, 'My son is my pride and joy. He started working at a
successful company at the bottom of the barrel. He studied Economics and
Business Administration and soon began to climb the corporate ladder and now
he's the president of the company. He became so rich that he gave his best
friend a top of the line Mercedes for his birthday.'
The second guy said, 'Darn, that's terrific! My son is also my pride and joy. He
started working for a big airline, then went to f light school to become a pilot.
Eventually he became a partner in the company, where he owns the majority of its
assets He's so rich that he gave his best friend a brand new jet for his
birthday.'
The third man said: 'Well, that's terrific! My son studied in the best
universities and became an engineer. Then he started his own construction
company and is now a multimillionaire. He also gave away something very nice and
expensive to his best friend for his birthday: A 30,000 square foot mansion.'
The three friends congratulated each other just as the fourth returned from the
restroom and asked: 'What are all the congratulations for?'
One of the three said: 'We were talking about the pride we feel for the
successes of our sons. ...What about your son?'
The fourth man replied: 'My son is gay and makes a living dancing as a stripper
at a nightclub.'
The three friends said: 'What a shame... what a disappointment .'
The fourth man replied: 'No, I'm not ashamed. He's my son and I love him. And he
hasn't done too bad either. His birthday was two weeks ago, and he received a
beautiful 30,000 square foot mansion, a brand new jet and a top of the line
Mercedes from his three boyfriends.'
yogy added 1 Minutes and 42 Seconds later...
O Lord, hear my anxious plea
Calculus is killing me
I know not of 'dx' or 'dy'
And probably won't until the day I die.
Please, Lord, help me in this hour
As I take my case to the highest power.
I care not for fame or loot
Just help me find one square root.
And Lord, please let me see
One passing mark in organic chemistry.
Oh such a thing I constantly dread
I'd just as soon join the Marines instead.
Lord, please give me a sign
That you've been listening all the time.
Please lead me out of this constant coma
And give me a shot at my diploma.
shalin_hitter
Club Cricketer
- Joined
- Jan 24, 2007
- Location
- Mumbai
Wow the first 2 are fantastic...........................
Two dwarfs pull two girls & take them home, first dwarf cant get it up and to make things even worse, all night he can hear the second dwarf saying "here I come again, 1 2 3 uuh". The next morning the first dwarf says to the second "how embarrasing, I couldn't even get an erection, the second dwarf says "you think thats bad, I couldnt even get on the bloody bed".
--------------------------
What do you say to a woman with two black eyes?
Nothing, you've already told her twice.
--------------------------
A seven-year-old boy was at the centre of a
London courtroom drama yesterday when he challenged a court ruling over
who should have custody of him. The boy has a history of being beaten by
his parents and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt, in
keeping with child custody law and regulations requiring that family
unity be maintained to the degree possible.
The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt beat him
more than his parents and he adamantly refused to live with her. When
the judge then suggested that he live with his grandparents, the boy
cried out that they also beat him.
After considering the remainder of the immediate family and learning
that domestic violence was apparently a way of life among them, the
judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who
should have custody of him.
After two recesses to check legal
references and confer with child welfare officials, the judge granted
temporary custody to Tottenham Hotspur Football Club whom the boy
firmly believes are incapable of beating anyone.
--------------------------
What do you say to a woman with two black eyes?
Nothing, you've already told her twice.
--------------------------
A seven-year-old boy was at the centre of a
London courtroom drama yesterday when he challenged a court ruling over
who should have custody of him. The boy has a history of being beaten by
his parents and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt, in
keeping with child custody law and regulations requiring that family
unity be maintained to the degree possible.
The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt beat him
more than his parents and he adamantly refused to live with her. When
the judge then suggested that he live with his grandparents, the boy
cried out that they also beat him.
After considering the remainder of the immediate family and learning
that domestic violence was apparently a way of life among them, the
judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who
should have custody of him.
After two recesses to check legal
references and confer with child welfare officials, the judge granted
temporary custody to Tottenham Hotspur Football Club whom the boy
firmly believes are incapable of beating anyone.
Last edited:
Karachi Xpress
Chairman of Selectors
- Joined
- Jul 25, 2005
- Location
- Canada
Lol @ the second on yogy:laugh:
Love the Spurs one Phil:laugh:
Love the Spurs one Phil:laugh:
Leicester Fox
Chairman of Selectors
- Joined
- Sep 28, 2006
- Online Cricket Games Owned
Zorax if you want a joke that you won't have heard Phil can tell you one. How does it go phil?
"how do you know your younger sister is on....."
"how do you know your younger sister is on....."
mattfb
Chairman of Selectors
LOL at the Tottenham hotspurs joke phil! :laugh:laugh
shalin_hitter
Club Cricketer
- Joined
- Jan 24, 2007
- Location
- Mumbai
One day avant-garde violinist Malcolm Goldstein, US Ambassador to Spain Eduardo Aguirre, and television's Tony Danza were on a jungle vacation together when they were caught by a tribal group.
Before they were about to be executed, they pleaded to the Queen of the Tribe for mercy. She said, ''Get me something good to eat. If I like it, you will be freed.'' The three men looked at each other and agreed. They then went into the jungle to look for some food
Malcolm Goldstein was the first to come back. He came up to the altar and offered grapes. The Queen tasted one and immediately spat it out. She ordered her servants to shove the rest of the grapes up Malcolm Goldstein's ass. The servants did their duty, and left Malcolm Goldstein lying on theground screaming.
Eduardo Aguirre was the next to arrive with some yummy apples. The same thing happened to him, but curiously he laughed as the apples were shoved up his ass. Malcolm Goldstein was shocked. Here he was with grapes up his ass howling in pain, but Eduardo Aguirre had several apples in his ass and he was laughing. He asked him ''What the hell are you laughing about?''
A laughing Eduardo Aguirre replied ''Tony Danza's coming back with a watermelon.'''
Before they were about to be executed, they pleaded to the Queen of the Tribe for mercy. She said, ''Get me something good to eat. If I like it, you will be freed.'' The three men looked at each other and agreed. They then went into the jungle to look for some food
Malcolm Goldstein was the first to come back. He came up to the altar and offered grapes. The Queen tasted one and immediately spat it out. She ordered her servants to shove the rest of the grapes up Malcolm Goldstein's ass. The servants did their duty, and left Malcolm Goldstein lying on theground screaming.
Eduardo Aguirre was the next to arrive with some yummy apples. The same thing happened to him, but curiously he laughed as the apples were shoved up his ass. Malcolm Goldstein was shocked. Here he was with grapes up his ass howling in pain, but Eduardo Aguirre had several apples in his ass and he was laughing. He asked him ''What the hell are you laughing about?''
A laughing Eduardo Aguirre replied ''Tony Danza's coming back with a watermelon.'''
