The Jokes Thread

[Meet]

What is big, round, blue and can be seen from far far away in IPL?

Spoiler

Mukesh Ambani's son!

 

[sami ullah khan]

Reminds me of behemoth mutants I used to kill in Fallout.

 

[Zidanes]

A bikini is an outfit where 90% of a woman's body is exposed. The amazing fact is that men are so decent, they only look at the 10% that isn't

 

[Ahmad94]

I left a trail of rose petals from the front door, up the stairs, and to the bedroom. I sprinkled some more over the bed. I sat in the corner wearing nothing but her beautiful silk robe with a bottle of vintage wine on ice on the end table. I heard the door open and her walking up the stairs, I wanted this to be the most romantic evening ever. I was quite nervous...


Now all I needed was the perfect way to introduce myself.

 

[Cricketdude]

Me and my mate have just been fighting over which is the best vowel.
I won.

 

[Mike23]

I'm too f*cking busy, and vise versa.

 

[Prithvi]

Mother: Son I'm sorry I slept with someone that is not your dad 23 years ago. And that person is your real father.X_X

Son: Mum, what rubbish! How am I to deal with this?!>:O

Mother: I am sorry he was my first love and I could not marry him... cause we are of different religion. He is on the phone at the moment and wants to speak with his son for the first time ever.

Son: No i am speaking to no one. Mr Trivedi is the only father i know and so will that be.>:/

Mother: Please don't be so upset. Just talk to him.:|

Son: Ok, I will give him a piece of my mind!3-|

Phone: Morning Son, I am Vijay Mallya. I am your real father.

Son: Teri Maaki Aaaannkkhhhhh:O:O .....Dad! \=D/ Dad!!\=D/ Dad!!!\=D/ Thank God!< Ohhhhhhhhhhhh Thank God!!!!!! Luv u so much Dad!!!!!:* I always knew there was something special about me...?? Thank you soooooo much mum.({}) You are the best mum in d world

Found this on fb..

 

[pcfan123]

I get it! He was not happy at first but after he found out his dad is a billionaire now he is happy

ahahahaha dude that was so good, I can't wait for the next party I attend. I will kill it with this bit of comedy gold

 

[Themer]

In reality that wasn't sarcasm and he really is going to use that at the next party he goes to.

 

[6ry4nj]

Would anyone really want Darth Mallya as a dad?

 

[Sedition]

Just an unfriendly reminder that 'Entertainment' doesn't mean all the immature kids can post their obscene pictures and jokes in this section, or anywhere on the site.

From now on, I won't just be deleting these posts, but infracting for them too.

 

[pcfan123]

And the Lord said unto John "Come forth and receive eternal life". But John came fifth and had to eat the biscuit.

 

[puddleduck]

In reality that wasn't sarcasm and he really is going to use that at the next party he goes to.

In reality Mark goes to parties? I thought that was the joke

 

[Themer]

Course he goes to parties. What else would his teddy bears be doing of a night?

 

[JD10]

Incase this hasn't been said. What do you call a singing computer?
A Dell
What do you call a singing computer at the bottom of the ocean?
A Dell rolling in the deep