The Jokes Thread

Is wittiest/funniest answer competition a good idea?


  • Total voters
    16
  • Poll closed .
Boy to girl: How much calcium is there in women?s Breasts?

Girl: I don?t have any idea but it has enough calcium to help a Man?s boneless thing to standup!

Old one i know,just thought of posting it.
 
Boy to girl: How much calcium is there in women?s Breasts?

Girl: I don?t have any idea but it has enough calcium to help a Man?s boneless thing to standup!

Old one i know,just thought of posting it.

Moral: Silicone can increase blood pressure.
 
Some guy stole my bike so I got in a cab & said
"follow that guy!" He said sure, "what's his twitter
name?" We laughed & hi-fived & I need a new bike.
 
THE CAT:
One day, a cat dies of natural causes and goes to heaven, where he meets the Lord Himself.
The Lord says to the cat, "You lived a good life, and if there is any way I can make your stay in heaven more comfortable, please let me know."
The cat thinks for a moment and says, "Lord, all my life I have lived with a poor family and had to sleep on a hard wooden floor."
The Lord stops the cat and says, "Say no more," and a wonderful, fluffy pillow appears.
A few days later, six mice are killed in a tragic farming accident, and all of them go to heaven.
Again, the Lord is there to greet them with the same offer.
The mice answer, "All our lives we have been chased.
We have had to run from cats, dogs, and even women with brooms.
Running, running, running; we're tired of running.
Do you think we could have roller skates so that we don't have to run anymore?"
The Lord says, "Say no more" and fits each mouse with beautiful new roller skates.
Week later, the Lord stops by to see the cat and finds him snoozing on the pillow.
The Lord gently wakes the cat and asks him, "How are things since you got here?"
The cat stretches and yawns, then replies, "It is wonderful here.
Better than I could have ever expected. And those 'Meals On Wheels' you've been sending by are the best!"
 

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