Dr. Pepper
Chairman of Selectors
:cool:
Lol at the Landkort pedigree. I'm a life saver, genius and cool
.
To Russia via...
- Thread starter Jaztheman
- Start date
Lol at the Landkort pedigree. I'm a life saver, genius and cool
.
Jaztheman
Chairman of Selectors
Whoever negged repped me for my story, can you tell me please as I didn't understand the rep...
shantanu_rooney
Chairman of Selectors
Well as Jimmy said yeah FM09 is on the cards . The story will continue without football till 09 releases .
But the story is great
But the story is great
Dr. Pepper
Chairman of Selectors
I neg repped you Jaz because I thought it was you who neg repped me 
. I left my name by the way.
. I left my name by the way.Jaztheman
Chairman of Selectors
I neg repped you Jaz because I thought it was you who neg repped me
Yeah I didn't know who DP was. Why would I neg rep you? What did it actually say?
Oh and PM me instead of carrying it on in here, don't want to clam up the thread mate.
Jaztheman
Chairman of Selectors
We had gotten away from the 'bad guys'. We were now in a helicopter at a high altitude and safe. Oh how it felt to be safe. The flight to Moscow was long and at times the engine sounds like it would fall of at any given time. Thankfully it didn't but I didn't enjoy the ride. Somehow Mani knew where to go and knew what buttons and everything to press. Interesting to say the least.
"Mani."
"Uh-uh."
"How on earth do you know how to fly this helicopter?"
"I was watching porn one day and I saw an ad to do with sushi and some reason it came up with how to fly a helicopter in Chinese."
"Ok..."
Believable? I don't know. Sounds a bit fishy if you ask me. Landkort didn't look impressed either and strangely enough he didn't mention at any time on the trip that we would be picking up a but ugly strong Guard. Not that I have anything against him. Just that he's just a bit mysterious.
"Psst. Landkort."
"What?"
"Do you know this guy?"
"No there was never a mention of a Mani."
"He doesn't look Chinese either."
"No. No he doesn't."
Interesting, very interesting. Puzzled and confused, we went back to our game of yahtzee. What a game it is. I had just got a full house, my second one, when a sudden excited sound came from the Pilot. No, we don't have any porn in the helicopter.
"Welcome home guys!"
Shocked and bewildered we looked outside of the helicopter. There was Moscow! We had finally got here. Our journey across Europe had been worth it. Landkort displayed a sudden smile. I looked around, looking for an air base. There were none. We flew a few miles across Moscow and still none. We couldn't find any at all. All we saw were factories, houses and lots of burning buildings. It was like a war zone.
We decided to search for one on the outskirts and outside of Moscow. We went away at a rate of Knots and soon came across where I used to live. Where were the houses! This was definitely were I used to live. I remember it as just round the corner there was a fountain with some old peoples names in graved on it. That was still there.
Just ahead of the rubble was an airfield, it didn't look in use but it looked good enough. There were even people there. They must of heard of our visit, but how? Hmm. Wait. They're in uniform. And what's that object there... I can't make it out.
*Insert Expletive Here* It's a turret! I looked ahead into the drivers seat, and there was Mani, who had not seen the turret yet. I looked at Landkort, he had just noticed it to. He looked across at me as our eyes met in the middle. We then both looked ahead in sync.
"Mani! Watch out!"
"Mani."
"Uh-uh."
"How on earth do you know how to fly this helicopter?"
"I was watching porn one day and I saw an ad to do with sushi and some reason it came up with how to fly a helicopter in Chinese."
"Ok..."
Believable? I don't know. Sounds a bit fishy if you ask me. Landkort didn't look impressed either and strangely enough he didn't mention at any time on the trip that we would be picking up a but ugly strong Guard. Not that I have anything against him. Just that he's just a bit mysterious.
"Psst. Landkort."
"What?"
"Do you know this guy?"
"No there was never a mention of a Mani."
"He doesn't look Chinese either."
"No. No he doesn't."
Interesting, very interesting. Puzzled and confused, we went back to our game of yahtzee. What a game it is. I had just got a full house, my second one, when a sudden excited sound came from the Pilot. No, we don't have any porn in the helicopter.
"Welcome home guys!"
Shocked and bewildered we looked outside of the helicopter. There was Moscow! We had finally got here. Our journey across Europe had been worth it. Landkort displayed a sudden smile. I looked around, looking for an air base. There were none. We flew a few miles across Moscow and still none. We couldn't find any at all. All we saw were factories, houses and lots of burning buildings. It was like a war zone.
We decided to search for one on the outskirts and outside of Moscow. We went away at a rate of Knots and soon came across where I used to live. Where were the houses! This was definitely were I used to live. I remember it as just round the corner there was a fountain with some old peoples names in graved on it. That was still there.
Just ahead of the rubble was an airfield, it didn't look in use but it looked good enough. There were even people there. They must of heard of our visit, but how? Hmm. Wait. They're in uniform. And what's that object there... I can't make it out.
*Insert Expletive Here* It's a turret! I looked ahead into the drivers seat, and there was Mani, who had not seen the turret yet. I looked at Landkort, he had just noticed it to. He looked across at me as our eyes met in the middle. We then both looked ahead in sync.
"Mani! Watch out!"
Dr. Pepper
Chairman of Selectors
Noooooooo! *Makes dramatic jump away from explosion*. Lol at how I know to drive a Chinese helicopter. How dare you call me ugly!
. Lol at how I know to drive a Chinese helicopter. How dare you call me ugly!
freddiw
Panel of Selectors
I actually am so confused 
Pakistani Army
Panel of Selectors
- Joined
- Dec 5, 2006
- Location
- Sheffield, England
- Online Cricket Games Owned
- Don Bradman Cricket 14 - PS3
:rtfl How the hell did Porn get turned into a tutorial for a Helicopter? Fantastic read and very funny indeed Jaz!
Jaztheman
Chairman of Selectors
We carried on landing, Mani listening to the radio with his ear plugs in, didn't hear us. Nor he didn't notice the turret about 250 yards to the side of the runway, accompanied by men in uniform. The men were becoming clearer now... What! They had vanished. I looked away for a split second and the men had gone, the turret was still there but the men had gone.
"Land it already Mani!"
"It's landing, it's landing."
"Right we've got to run over to the turret."
"But it could be a trap."
"Yes. It might be a trap, but it might not be."
"Are you going to take the risk?"
"Yes."
"Kudos. We'll join ya."
The helicopter landed, the doors flew open. We jumped out, picked ourselves up and ran at our own paces towards the turret in the distance. We were all quite quick, surprisingly, but Moscow would obviously have people that are very highly skilled to help me. We got to the turret, breathing heavily, but at the turret nonetheless.
We went up to the turret. It was plastic, a massive turret to scale, but plastic. A plastic turret? What could this be? A sign of the future or just empty threats? Well we will probably soon find out. I looked to the right and then to the left. Wasteland. Either side of the air base was just rubble and wasteland where there used to be joyous children playing in the streets and loving families in their houses. Now there was just rubble and the odd person wearing a tu-tu they must have knicked. Strange; if you're going to knick something, why a tu-ty? Anyway...
We walked backwards, towards where my family used to live. I looked around, it was a heartbreaking sight. Everything was burned to sinder and everything was beyond repair. I walked ahead, the fountain in sight. I carried on walking, until abruptly stopped by the water feature. Some reason I still had some memories from my childhood.
"Right. So one foot, two foot..."
I measured out how far it used to be to my house from the fountain. I came to a sudden halt and looked to my left. There was nothing there apart from rubble. It was the same as all the other 'houses'. China! They would be paying for this. We walked back past the fountain, on our way to the football stadium, if it was even still built.
"How do you not know if the stadium has been burnt down? Don't you watch their matches?"
"Hey! It's not my fault that SpongeBob SquarePants is on at the same time as the matches!"
"What?"
"I did write to them to just show and omnibus on a Sunday but they declined."
"Ok.."
We came to a turning, I remembered it was a left turning as my friend lived down this road. Perhaps he was with me the night of the crash when I got sent to England? Who knows? Nobody I guess. There was silence, all the time since we had been in Russia so you know how strange it would of been for us when we heard a sound coming from behind us. The sound of a vehicle? The sound of a vehicle in a burnt down part of Russia? We turned around...
"Land it already Mani!"
"It's landing, it's landing."
"Right we've got to run over to the turret."
"But it could be a trap."
"Yes. It might be a trap, but it might not be."
"Are you going to take the risk?"
"Yes."
"Kudos. We'll join ya."
The helicopter landed, the doors flew open. We jumped out, picked ourselves up and ran at our own paces towards the turret in the distance. We were all quite quick, surprisingly, but Moscow would obviously have people that are very highly skilled to help me. We got to the turret, breathing heavily, but at the turret nonetheless.
We went up to the turret. It was plastic, a massive turret to scale, but plastic. A plastic turret? What could this be? A sign of the future or just empty threats? Well we will probably soon find out. I looked to the right and then to the left. Wasteland. Either side of the air base was just rubble and wasteland where there used to be joyous children playing in the streets and loving families in their houses. Now there was just rubble and the odd person wearing a tu-tu they must have knicked. Strange; if you're going to knick something, why a tu-ty? Anyway...
We walked backwards, towards where my family used to live. I looked around, it was a heartbreaking sight. Everything was burned to sinder and everything was beyond repair. I walked ahead, the fountain in sight. I carried on walking, until abruptly stopped by the water feature. Some reason I still had some memories from my childhood.
"Right. So one foot, two foot..."
I measured out how far it used to be to my house from the fountain. I came to a sudden halt and looked to my left. There was nothing there apart from rubble. It was the same as all the other 'houses'. China! They would be paying for this. We walked back past the fountain, on our way to the football stadium, if it was even still built.
"How do you not know if the stadium has been burnt down? Don't you watch their matches?"
"Hey! It's not my fault that SpongeBob SquarePants is on at the same time as the matches!"
"What?"
"I did write to them to just show and omnibus on a Sunday but they declined."
"Ok.."
We came to a turning, I remembered it was a left turning as my friend lived down this road. Perhaps he was with me the night of the crash when I got sent to England? Who knows? Nobody I guess. There was silence, all the time since we had been in Russia so you know how strange it would of been for us when we heard a sound coming from behind us. The sound of a vehicle? The sound of a vehicle in a burnt down part of Russia? We turned around...
Dr. Pepper
Chairman of Selectors
Pun intended
? Lol at the Spongebob omnibus. Ooooh a cliff hanger! What's behind you?!Jaztheman
Chairman of Selectors
Pun intended
Haha, I thought my pun was rather good myself.
Cheers for the comment, Mani. I'm still enjoying writing this to my surprise so you will probably find out today depending on how many comments I get.
treva
ICC Chairman
Great last few updates, just read through the last 3. Awesome writing and great suspense James. Got me waiting for the next update
PaulNixon1
Club Cricketer
Great writing james this is an awsome read KUTGW!
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