AVK'S Sms jokes

[avk2love]

if u guys dont't like it i am everready to stop
Here are a few

1>VERY... Cute, Gorgeous, Genious, Goodlooking, Intellegent, One in Trillions...I think its enuff abt ME,wht abt U....

2>Today, tommorow and yesterday there will be .. one heart that would always beat for you .. You know Whose??? .. your Own Stupid!!!

3>When i am not messaging u it does not mean that i have forgotten u, i am just giving u time to MISS ME!!

4>Our friendship means a lot 2 me.. U cry i cry.U lauf i lauf .. U jump out of the window ..I look down & then... i lauf again

5>I see your face when I am dreaming
That's why I always wake up screaming

6>My feelings for you no words can tell
Except for maybe "go to hell"

7>what is wrong with your cell every time i call a voice comes the subscriber u have dialed is a monkey plz contact zoo for detail

8>This cat, is cat, a cat, good cat, way cat, to cat, keep cat, a cat, idiot cat, busy cat, for cat, 20 cat, seconds cat! Now read it all without the word cat!

9>Someday u may lose ur hair .. u may lose ur teeth- ur money & even lose ur mind .. But 1 thing u will never loose is ur good looks .. coz u cant lose wot u don't have!

10>When i open my eyes every morning i pray to God
that everyone should have a friend like you....
Why should only i suffer!!!

11>When u feel sad .. To cheer up just go to the mirror and say .."damn I am really so cute" u will overcome your sadness .. But don't make this a habit .. Coz liars go to hell !!!!

12>My husband and I cannot decide... a dog or a child..do we ruin our carpet or our life?

DID U GUYS LIKE THEM OR SHALL I STOP

 

[gaurav_indian]

Good ones!

 

[avk2love]

thanks mate

This cat, is cat, a cat, good cat, way cat, to cat, keep cat, a cat, idiot cat, busy cat, for cat, 20 cat, seconds cat! Now read it all without the word cat!

read this one especially

Do u guys like it
reply

 

[gaurav_indian]

thanks mate



read this one especially

Do u guys like it
reply

I have heard it before but instead of cat there was a dog. :

 

[Deleted member 11215]

very good!! well done

 

[avk2love]

Do u Guys want more...........

 

[avk2love]

*Roses are red, violets are blue, I was born smart & handsome, but what the hell happend to you?

*One out of four people is a chinese. If your father, your mother and your brother are not Chinese, it must be you.

*Do you believe in LOVE at first sight or do I have to walk by again? ?

*Dear God, thank you for making me healthy. Can you also make me sexy? If you can't make me sexy, please make all my friends fat. Amen.

*On the door of a toilet....Some people come here to sit and wonder, I come here to **** like thunder

*Wat's the diff between pulling a curtain and a panty? ANS: When U pull a curtain, it means tat the show is over but when u pull a panty the show begins...

*When a man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it's $$$ per minute

*Robbery Now! Raise ur hands! women stand @ right, men left! half-man-half-woman centre! HEY U! yes u! stand centre! don't pretend looking @ the handphone!

*Sorry! Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.

*I look at the moon, the moon is beautiful... I look at you.. I.. I... I'd rather look at the moon again..

*A good friend is like a good bra... hard 2 find- comfortable- supportive- prevents u from falling- holds u tight- and is always close 2 ur heart!

 

[avk2love]

how about these sms jokes
do u guys like them

 

[Abhas]

great work.
keep them coming

Here are some from me too :

1.I wrote ur name on the sand & it got washed away.I wrote ur name in the air & it got blown away.I wrote ur name on my heart &..I got a HEART ATTACK!

2.I would like 2 officially announce that I am already accepting friendshipday gifts in cash, cheques, chocolates, luv & airtime. Avoid rush, Send Now! Thank U!

3.If I got ur smile, I dnt need flowers, If I got ur voice, I dnt need music, If u speak 2 me I dont need anybdy else, If U r my frnd I dont need the world!

4.We've known Each other 4
Quite a while now,
do u think
we can be more than FRNDS?
Will u be my PARTNER
2 rob a BANK !?

5.I saw something in a shops window - it was stunning hot, cute, simply adorable. i was supposed to buy it for u. But then I realised it was my reflection.

6.The World is Round We'll meet again. When we meet I'll ask You "How are You" Hope You'll not ask "Who are You'!

7.NOBODY like U,
NOBODY cares for U,
NOBODY misses U,
NOBODY wants to see U good,
NOBODY is Ur best friend,
NOBODY is happy with U,
...Dont cry!!! My name is NOBODY.

8.I saw U on ROAD today. U were lukin SO fine, Ur face SO divine, Ur walk SO perfect. My HEART started singing a Sweet Song: WHO LET THE DOGS OUT!

9.A study has proved that all fools use their THUMB while reading a SMS. Now its 2 late dont try 2 change ur finger! Catch another fool!

10.Stars + moon = romantic night, Birds + sky = lovely day, Forest + animals = beautiful world, YOU+YOUR SMILE = "AYYO PAEYI"

11.HI SAHA HERE. PROMISE ME V R GOOD FRNDS. I M LITE U R LAMP. I M WATER U R TANK. I M TARZEN U R MONKEY.

12.Do u know that your Smile takes 1000 People to Death. ? Save The World, , , , , , , , , So Plz start brushing regularly

13.When u get ths SMS, snd it to 1person U luv, 1 u hate, 1 u always think of & 1 u wish to kill. now keep guessing why i send it to u!!!

14.no visits....
no calls....
no sms....
no mails....
no miscals....
i'm worried...
R u in jail again??

15.5steps to a LOVELY MORNING. CLose ur eyes, take a deep breath, open ur arms, fell ur heartbeet & say 'Its too early, let me sleep a bit more!' GOOD MORNING.

16.Sardarji is writing a letter to his son. It goes like this, "Son, I know you can't read fast, so am writing this letter very slow."

17.My Life was in darkness before i met u.
but now it is bright.
u know why?
....
....
Coz u r a
"TUBELIGHT"

18.A Sardar was in a hotel and his cellular phone rang. He picked it up and said " Hello, how did you know I was here?"

19.Dialog between computer hardware engineer & manager, Engg. : Sir, you cannot use this printer right now because I don't have driver for it. Manager : Oh my driver is ideal sitting in car. you can use him.

20.No matter how sad, no matter how blue, i feel better juz thinking of u. But i'm happier each time i msg u coz i noe i'll be disturbing YOU!!! hahahahaha (',)

21.It took my physical, mental, and emotional energy to tell that how much I love her. But she just said "no" without giving a second thought.

22.A girl phoned me the other day and said...Come on over, there is nobody home. I went over. Nobody was home.

23.Of course... If you want something there is always a way to get there. Unfortunately on my way there are road works.

I hate it when you leave, but I would like to see you go.

When do you know a woman is going to say something interesting? .... When she starts with "My husband said..."

Man says to his wife: Let me take a picture of your breasts, than I can always look at them. Wife: Let me take a picture of you penis, I will have it enlarged.

A blond woman picks up a 100. Was it a smart or a stupid blond one? ...................... stupid of course, there are no others

Why does a stupid blond woman sneak past the pharmacy? ................. She does not want to wake the sleeping tablets!

Dear God, I will keep it brief otherwise they will steal my dinner. AMEN

When you harass a boy, pull his pants down and your skirt up, because you can run faster with your skirt up than he with his pants down.

There are three girls in the sixth grade ... A blond a brown and a red. Who has the biggest boobs? ............ The blond because she already reached the age of 20!!!

If I'd had a face like yours, I'd sue my parents!

Can I have your picture? ......... I save natural disasters

You wanna come to my place for some pizza and sex? No? Why, don't you like pizza?

Why is a woman 20.000 $ worth and a man only 2$? A woman has a milk factory, a mussel farm and a sawmill; a man a sausage, 2 bitterballs and a little pot of mayonnaise

Bigamy..............What is the penalty for bigamy? ............... Two mothers-in-law !

(no offence to any blondes around)

lol

 

[icyman]

Great ones....want some more ...
WARNING-EXPLICIT CONTENT
Here's my pick

1.How to avoid a condom accident ?
Use double condom with chilli powder between the two.
If outer breaks she'll know an if inner breaks u will know.

2.Poem by eltron jon
Luv ur luv in such a way that she finds no better place
than ur heart to stay
But if she still manages to get away
Sorry dude ,it time to turn gay.

3.Can u believ things ppl do ?
I was in the temple next to a girl.
In the middle of the aarti she lit a cigar...
i was so shocked that i dropped my beer...

4. Nowadays 80 % women r against marriage.
They have wisened to the fact that for 200gm of sausage..
its not worth buying the entire pig...

5.Munna bhai's viva in forensic.
wats the defination of virginity?
A:-a very big tissue over a very small tissue..

 

[avk2love]

good one's guys

 

[avk2love]

here are some funny quotes
Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like
a minute. THAT'S relativity.
-Albert Einstein

The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into
the office.
- Robert Frost

The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it.
- Franklin P. Jones

We must believe in luck. For how else can we explain the success of those we don't like?
-Jean Cocturan

It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world everyday always just exactly fits the newspaper.
- Jerry Seinfeld

It matters not whether you win or lose; what matters is whether I win or lose.
- Darrin Weinberg

"Intellectuals solve problems; geniuses prevent them."
--Albert Einstein

"Everyone has a talent, what is rare is the courage to follow the talent to the dark place where it leads." (Erica Jong)

The most instructive experiences are those of everyday life." (Friedrich Nietzsche)

"I have learnt silence from the talkative, toleration from the intolerant, and kindness from the unkind; yet strange, I am ungrateful to these teachers." (Kahlil Gibran)

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will eat for the rest of his life." (Chinese Proverb)

"Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgement that something else is more important than fear." (Ambrose Redmoon)

"I not only use all the brains I have but all that I can borrow." (W. Wilson)

"If you want happiness for a lifetime, help someone else." (Chinese Proverb)

"Education makes people easy to lead, but difficult to drive; easy to govern, but impossible to enslave." (Henry Peter Broughan)

"A gifted teacher is as rare as a gifted doctor, and makes far less money" (Anonymous)

 

[newzolt]

really witty n hilarious.

 

[Indiangod]

LOL..........good jokes. Keep them coming.

 

[avk2love]

thanks guys