Some advice for Colin, WCC Bowler and other Evertonians for travelling to Europe next season:
1. Airports operate a strict no smoking policy unless in designated areas.
2. Aeroplanes are now also non smoking.
3. Having a whip-round for the pilot was okay in the 80?s, but not now.
4. Planes to Europe no longer have propellers so don?t panic when looking out of the window.
5. The Peseta, Franc, Drachmar etc have been phased out, Euros is now the currency of most major European countries.
6. Flight times have drastically decreased due to advanced technology since the last time you flew.
7. You can bring back more than 200 cigarettes, so no need to hide a load in your suitcase.
8. The same goes for wine and spirits.
9. Tightly fitting Union Jack shorts are no longer acceptable.
10. DJ?s in the pubs and clubs do not play Agado by Black Lace anymore.
11. Saying ?You oh can I have oh two oh coco colas oh? was funny when Tom O?Connor said it, it does not go down well in Spain now.
12. John Cleese can get away with the ?German Walk?, don?t try it if you go to Germany as you will find a different response off the locals.
13. The food has also improved immensely abroad, you will even find a McDonalds, KFC and Burger King if you look hard enough.
14. If you go to Russia, there is no need to hide from dark cars with blacked out windows anymore.
15. It is now safe to have ice cubes in your drinks.
16. The sacrificing of female virgins is now outlawed in Eastern Europe, although having seen your female fans I doubt if there is one amongst you.
17. Grassy a*** is not the way to say thank you in Spain.
18. If going to France, don?t panic and think you are in America when you see Disneyland.
19. If going by road, no need to take the ferry anymore, there is a Channel Tunnel.
20. One Year Visas are no longer in use, you need a proper passport.
21. Ships don't have cannons on anymore.
22. Pirates are no longer a danger in the English Channel.
23. You do not have to wait 24 hours for todays paper
24. Don't panic and cause a scene - Easyjet don't do meals.
25. Czechoslovakia no longer exists.
