MaD
Chairman of Selectors
- Joined
- Dec 19, 2008
- Location
- Sydney, Australia
They all cracked me up :laugh
The Jokes Thread
- Thread starter scorpion_rulezz
- Start date
Gurjot95
National Board President
- Joined
- Apr 16, 2008
- Location
- Melbourne, Australia
:laugh:rtfl
BKB1991
Panel of Selectors
Nice!!
Varun
ICC Board Member
- Joined
- Mar 14, 2009
- Location
- Delhi, India
- Online Cricket Games Owned
- Don Bradman Cricket 14 - Steam PC
Most Cricketers, who are not comfortable in conversing in English go prepare for some standard questions that are asked to them when commentators chat with them during the awards ceremony. Inzamam was once asked a different question after Pakistan won the match, for which he was not prepared. He always used this standard response to the first question after winning.
Tony Greig : Inzy, That's fantastic ! Your wife is pregnant for the second time and you must be happy.
Inzamam :
Tony Fainted
Tony Greig : Inzy, That's fantastic ! Your wife is pregnant for the second time and you must be happy.
Inzamam :
Thanks Tony! All the credit goes to the boys.Everyone work hard for it , especially Afridi. It was a tight situation when he went in.Also Bob Woolmer was keeping close watch on progress and giving instructions. Its all team effort, Insha Allah , we all will work together as a team , put in big effort and deliver good resullt all the time and will REPEAT the same result
Last edited:
thedon5
Panel of Selectors
:rtfl
Quality.
Quality.
Cricketdude
Chairman of Selectors
Indian humour must be different.
P
pcfan123
Guest
I think their all just kids and if you say anything sexual they will giggle.
Here is a test:
Ok so if you laughed at that, then please do not post in the joke thread.
Here is a test:
PENIS!
Ok so if you laughed at that, then please do not post in the joke thread.
blazerix
County Cricketer
Some more jokes, sorry if these ones aren't as funny as the other ones.
In a mental institution a nurse walks into a room and sees a patient acting like he's driving a car. The nurse asks him, "Charlie, what are you doing? "Charlie replied, "Driving to Chicago! " The nurse wishes him a good trip and leaves the room. The next day the nurse enters Charlie's room just as he stops driving his imaginary car and asks, "Well Charlie, how are you doing? "Charlie says, "I just got into Chicago ". "Great," replied the nurse. The nurse leaves Charlie's room and goes across the hall into Bob's room, and finds Bob sitting on his bed furiously masturbating. Shocked, she asks,"Bob, what are you doing?! "Bob says, "I'm screwing Charlie's wife while he's in Chicago! "
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"Oh love, what did you ever do to deserve a wife like me? "she said looking lovingly into her husbands eyes. "I don't know, but I promise I'll never do it again.
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A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to report it because the thief was spending less than his wife did.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A Brit, a
Frenchman and a
Russian are viewing a painting of Adam and Eve frolicking in the
Garden of Eden.
"Look at their reserve, their calm," muses the Brit.
"They must be
British. "
"Nonsense," the Frenchman disagrees. "They're naked, and so beautiful. Clearly, they are French. "
"No clothes, no shelter," the Russian points out, "they have only an apple to eat, and they're being told this is paradise. They are
Russian. "
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
It was mealtime on a small airline and the flight attendant asked the passenger if he would like dinner.
"What are my choices? " he asked.
"Yes or No," she replied.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Two good ol' boys, Bubba and Junior get promoted from Privates to Sergeants. Not long after, they're out for a walk and Bubba says, "Hey, Junior - there's the NCO Club. Let's you and me stop in and have us a drank. "
"But we's privates," protests Junior. "NO, we's sergeants now," says Bubba, pulling him inside "Now, Junior, I'm gonna sit down and have me a drank. "
"But, we's privates," says Junior. "You blind, boy! " says Bubba, pointing at his stripes. "We's Sergeants now! "So they order their drinks and pretty soon a hooker comes up to Bubba. "You're cute," she says, "and I'd like to take you someplace and make you feel good -- but I've got a bad case of gonorrhea. "Bubba pulls his friend to the side and whispers, "Junior, go look in the dictionary and see what that gonorrhea means. If it's good, give me the okay sign. "Junior goes to look it up, comes back, and gives Bubba the big okay sign. Three weeks later Bubba is laid up in the infirmary with a terrible case of gonorrhea. "Junior," he says, "What you give me the okay for?! "
"Well Bubba, in the dictionary, it says gonorrhea only affects the privates. "Then he pointed to his stripes and says, "But we's Sergeants now!
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An Englishman,
Frenchman,
Mexican, and Texan were flying across country on a small plane when the pilot comes on the loud speaker and says " We're having mechanical problems and the only way we can make it to the next airport is for 3 of you to open the door and jump, at least one of you can survive "
The four open the door and look out below. The Englishman takes a deep breath and hollers "God Save The Queen " and jumps.
The Frenchman gets really inspired and hollers "Viva La France " and he also jumps.
This really pumps up the Texan so he hollers
"Remember the Alamo " and he grabs the Mexican and throws him out of the plane.
In a mental institution a nurse walks into a room and sees a patient acting like he's driving a car. The nurse asks him, "Charlie, what are you doing? "Charlie replied, "Driving to Chicago! " The nurse wishes him a good trip and leaves the room. The next day the nurse enters Charlie's room just as he stops driving his imaginary car and asks, "Well Charlie, how are you doing? "Charlie says, "I just got into Chicago ". "Great," replied the nurse. The nurse leaves Charlie's room and goes across the hall into Bob's room, and finds Bob sitting on his bed furiously masturbating. Shocked, she asks,"Bob, what are you doing?! "Bob says, "I'm screwing Charlie's wife while he's in Chicago! "
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Oh love, what did you ever do to deserve a wife like me? "she said looking lovingly into her husbands eyes. "I don't know, but I promise I'll never do it again.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to report it because the thief was spending less than his wife did.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A Brit, a
Frenchman and a
Russian are viewing a painting of Adam and Eve frolicking in the
Garden of Eden.
"Look at their reserve, their calm," muses the Brit.
"They must be
British. "
"Nonsense," the Frenchman disagrees. "They're naked, and so beautiful. Clearly, they are French. "
"No clothes, no shelter," the Russian points out, "they have only an apple to eat, and they're being told this is paradise. They are
Russian. "
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
It was mealtime on a small airline and the flight attendant asked the passenger if he would like dinner.
"What are my choices? " he asked.
"Yes or No," she replied.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Two good ol' boys, Bubba and Junior get promoted from Privates to Sergeants. Not long after, they're out for a walk and Bubba says, "Hey, Junior - there's the NCO Club. Let's you and me stop in and have us a drank. "
"But we's privates," protests Junior. "NO, we's sergeants now," says Bubba, pulling him inside "Now, Junior, I'm gonna sit down and have me a drank. "
"But, we's privates," says Junior. "You blind, boy! " says Bubba, pointing at his stripes. "We's Sergeants now! "So they order their drinks and pretty soon a hooker comes up to Bubba. "You're cute," she says, "and I'd like to take you someplace and make you feel good -- but I've got a bad case of gonorrhea. "Bubba pulls his friend to the side and whispers, "Junior, go look in the dictionary and see what that gonorrhea means. If it's good, give me the okay sign. "Junior goes to look it up, comes back, and gives Bubba the big okay sign. Three weeks later Bubba is laid up in the infirmary with a terrible case of gonorrhea. "Junior," he says, "What you give me the okay for?! "
"Well Bubba, in the dictionary, it says gonorrhea only affects the privates. "Then he pointed to his stripes and says, "But we's Sergeants now!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
An Englishman,
Frenchman,
Mexican, and Texan were flying across country on a small plane when the pilot comes on the loud speaker and says " We're having mechanical problems and the only way we can make it to the next airport is for 3 of you to open the door and jump, at least one of you can survive "
The four open the door and look out below. The Englishman takes a deep breath and hollers "God Save The Queen " and jumps.
The Frenchman gets really inspired and hollers "Viva La France " and he also jumps.
This really pumps up the Texan so he hollers
"Remember the Alamo " and he grabs the Mexican and throws him out of the plane.
P
pcfan123
Guest
M\bahahahaha Nick I am telling that remember the Alamo joke to everyone i meet today, you seriously tell the best jokes on this forum!
thedon5
Panel of Selectors
@Mark and CD: Nah, not the fact that anything sexual makes me laugh, I just thought it was funny like everything else in this thread. Anyway, I think a fair amount of the stuff in this thread actually are sexual, e.g. half of your jokes and Nick's jokes, Mark.
AkshayS
Chairman of Selectors
:laugh:laugh:laugh:laugh
The best. All are also quality man.
Varun
ICC Board Member
- Joined
- Mar 14, 2009
- Location
- Delhi, India
- Online Cricket Games Owned
- Don Bradman Cricket 14 - Steam PC
MaD
Chairman of Selectors
- Joined
- Dec 19, 2008
- Location
- Sydney, Australia
Alamo?
