Lol, nice.
The Jokes Thread
- Thread starter scorpion_rulezz
- Start date
blake
School Cricketer
A burglar had just broken into a house and was stealing anything he could get his hands on. Then he heard a voice. It said, "Jesus is watching you."
Thinking it's in his head he continues on his business. Then he hears it again, "Jesus is watching you."
The burglar not very religious but still scared says, "Who are you?"
Then he flipped on the light not caring if he was caught by the house owners. All he sees is a parrot in the corner. The parrot then says, "Jesus is watching you."
The burglar asks the parrot his name. The parrot replied, "Satan."
The burglar laughs and says, "Who would name their parrot Satan?"
The parrot says, "Same person who would name their rottweiler Jesus."
Thinking it's in his head he continues on his business. Then he hears it again, "Jesus is watching you."
The burglar not very religious but still scared says, "Who are you?"
Then he flipped on the light not caring if he was caught by the house owners. All he sees is a parrot in the corner. The parrot then says, "Jesus is watching you."
The burglar asks the parrot his name. The parrot replied, "Satan."
The burglar laughs and says, "Who would name their parrot Satan?"
The parrot says, "Same person who would name their rottweiler Jesus."
thedon5
Panel of Selectors
Nice :laugh .
Themer
Chairman of Selectors
My wife said to me, "I've just heard some great news, apparently the police know who the local paedophile is and they are going to arrest him tonight."
I said, "That's brilliant news. Let's celebrate by moving to Australia."
I said, "That's brilliant news. Let's celebrate by moving to Australia."
riz7khan12
Panel of Selectors
lol, at this :laugh
i too liked this one:laugh:laugh......was it meant to be like this or it just came out?
Themer
Chairman of Selectors
My mate called me a ****** earlier.
I almost choked on my window.
I almost choked on my window.
mattfb
Chairman of Selectors
lol wtf. Made me smile and let out a tiny "hah" though 
Gurjot95
National Board President
- Joined
- Apr 16, 2008
- Location
- Melbourne, Australia
Dont know if you people heard this one:
I still laugh whenever I reread it :laugh
THE SCHOOL MASTER:
In the 1900s toilet facilities weren’t that common as it is today. So a British woman on her 1ST trip to India; writes to a local school master inquiring about the WC facilities. WC as we know stands for “Water Closet” or toilet. The school master, not being fluent in English didn’t know the meaning of WC. So he goes to a priest who tells him it means “Wayside Church”. This is the reply he writes back to the lady:
Dear Madam,
I take great pleasure in informing you that the WC is located only 9 miles from your house. It is located in the middle of a grove of pine trees, surrounded by lovely grounds. It is capable of holding 229 people; however it is open only on Sundays and Thursdays. As there are many people expected in the summer month, I suggest you arrive early. There is however plenty of standing room. This is an unfortunate situation especially if you are in the habit of going regularly. It maybe of some interest to you that my daughter was married in a WC, as it was there she met her husband. It was a wonderful event. There were 10 people in every seat. It was wonderful to see the expression on their faces.
My wife sadly has been ill and unable to go recently. It has been a year since she last went, and this pains her greatly. You would be pleased to people bring lunches to the WC and make a day of it. Others wait till the last minute and arrive just in time! I would suggest you to go on a Thursday as there is piano accompaniment. The acoustics are excellent and even the most delicate sounds can be heard everywhere. We are planning to even holding a bazaar to provide cushions, as many feel it was long needed. I look forward to escorting you there myself and seating you in a place where you can be seen by all.
With deepest regards,
Schoolmaster
I still laugh whenever I reread it :laugh
THE SCHOOL MASTER:
In the 1900s toilet facilities weren’t that common as it is today. So a British woman on her 1ST trip to India; writes to a local school master inquiring about the WC facilities. WC as we know stands for “Water Closet” or toilet. The school master, not being fluent in English didn’t know the meaning of WC. So he goes to a priest who tells him it means “Wayside Church”. This is the reply he writes back to the lady:
Dear Madam,
I take great pleasure in informing you that the WC is located only 9 miles from your house. It is located in the middle of a grove of pine trees, surrounded by lovely grounds. It is capable of holding 229 people; however it is open only on Sundays and Thursdays. As there are many people expected in the summer month, I suggest you arrive early. There is however plenty of standing room. This is an unfortunate situation especially if you are in the habit of going regularly. It maybe of some interest to you that my daughter was married in a WC, as it was there she met her husband. It was a wonderful event. There were 10 people in every seat. It was wonderful to see the expression on their faces.
My wife sadly has been ill and unable to go recently. It has been a year since she last went, and this pains her greatly. You would be pleased to people bring lunches to the WC and make a day of it. Others wait till the last minute and arrive just in time! I would suggest you to go on a Thursday as there is piano accompaniment. The acoustics are excellent and even the most delicate sounds can be heard everywhere. We are planning to even holding a bazaar to provide cushions, as many feel it was long needed. I look forward to escorting you there myself and seating you in a place where you can be seen by all.
With deepest regards,
Schoolmaster
deathrevenge9
International Coach
Only the highlighted part was funny IMO.
They both gave me great lols, but not for the reason meet was hoping.. :laugh
