The Jokes Thread

[puddleduck]

If a prostitute swallowed my balls, I think I'd want my money back at the least... my balls back at the most.

 

[Bilalshuja]

Scientist said "World is made up of Proton & Neutron but they forgot to mention Morons.

 

[Bevab]

Great joke. The funniest post I've seen ever in a long time. Hey, we'll open a thread to dedicate this joke.

 

[Dutch]

Scientist said "World is made up of Proton & Neutron but they forgot to mention Morons.

Luckily they just got a mention.

 

[puddleduck]

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Spoiler

I've no idea, he didn't say.

 

[Ahmad94]

^that one actually made me cry...of depression.

 

[pcfan123]

Why did Princess Diana cross the road?

She wasn't wearing a seat belt

 

[spooony]

Is that what prostitutes do then? Swallow balls?

Depends on how much you paid

Apparently, Windows is going to be renamed 'Diana, Princess of Windows'. It's overrated, overpriced, consumes loads of resources and crashes spectacularly..

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Scientist said "World is made up of Proton & Neutron but they forgot to mention Morons.

I think I lost an electron.
? Are you sure ?
? Yeah, I'm positive.

-------------------

Jehova witness: But sir, don't you want eternal life ?
?Yeah, but not if it's gonna be with a bunch of Jehovah Witnesses, I mean what kind of heaven is that ?
Classic 'how to get rid of JW' trick

Best pick up line ever.

Do this rag smell like Chloroform?

 

[manee]

Here's some more. Some old jokes in there...

Manraj Bahra Stand Up 2 - YouTube

 

[Ahmad94]

^Haha, not that bad.

 

[puddleduck]

Was with this girl the other week. She was crying out "No, please don't f*ck my arse!" I told her that the person with the knife makes the decisions.

Too much? Probably.

 

[Villain]

Edited...

 

[Dutch]

Was with this girl the other week. She was crying out "No, please don't f*ck my arse!" I told her that the person with the knife makes the decisions.

Too much? Probably.

I think it is hilarious, then again you are holding the knife.....

 

[spooony]

I can't find Kate Middleton's tits anywhere.

And I've got the pictures!

 

[Villain]

Yeah i know dude that gayle joke was a PJ,felt it myself.Copied it from an facebook page,the joke actually got more than 1k like so posted it here and was assuming people would like it here too!