The Jokes Thread

[F4rrukh]

hhahahahahah i got it !!! ahhahahaa :rtfl :rtfl :laugh brilliant joke, cant stop laughing :laugh

 

[nightprowler10]

LOL! Good one Leo.

 

[scorpion_rulezz]

lol nice combination of time & year

 

[cricket doctor]

Here is an interesting one I found on other forum:-

Rafael Benitez (RB) and David Moyes (DM) were at a local radio station being interviewed as build-up to the up coming derby game.

DJ : So, here we have the 2 rival managers from the same city , about to go head to head in a week's time. David, Everton has got off to a good start, so what are your aims for this season?

DM : Yes, we got off to a good start but to be honest, its not as easy as it looks. Our main aim this season is just to stay clear off the relegation zone and hope for a decent 15th or 16th place finish.

DJ : How about you Rafa? what are Liverpool's aimbitions this season?

RB: Well, we aim to win the league by at least a 20 point margin, win both the FA and league Cups, as well as make it to the Champion's League final, preferrbaly against barcelona, go down 3-0 at half time and come back to win the game 4-3. that would certainly give our supporters fond memories of 2006/2007.

DJ : Uhm.. Rafa, isnt all that abit over-ambitious?

RB : Well, Moeyes started it first. :o

 

[F4rrukh]

ahahahahaha poor everton :rtfl :rtfl great joke CD!

 

[kamrandahir]

Teacher: What r the people of Turkey called?
Student: I don't know.
Teacher: They r called Turks, now What r the people of Germany called?
Student: They r called Germs.

 

[mehkar]

nice Joke Kami keep posting some more

 

[Left_Hander]

Nice joke Cricket Doctor.

 

[icyman]

:happy A woman is flying on a jumbo-jet to Europe. After they get up in
the air the loudspeaker comes on: "This is your captain Emilia Rodrigues.
We
are cruising at 35,000 feet .. etc. etc." When the announcement is finished
the woman passenger beckons to a stewardess and asks, "Is it really true
that this great big airplane is being flown by a woman?"
"Yes, says the stewardess, Captain Rodrigues is a woman."
"How wonderful! I am so excited! Do you think you can arrange for me to go
up to the cockpit to congratulate her?"
"Yes, I think I can arrange that. You might also like to know that the
co-pilot is also a woman."
"That is the most exciting thing I have heard in a long time ... this has
really made my day ... I just have to go to the cockpit to express my
admiration!"
"One more thing you might like to know ... we don't call it the cockpit any
more."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------
The son asks: "Daddy, how was I born?"
Dad says: "Ah, my son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway!
Well, you see your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on MSN. Then
I set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber-cafe. We
sneaked into a secluded room, where your mother agreed to a download from
my
hard drive. As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither
one
of us had used a firewall, and since it was too late to hit the delete
button, nine months later a blessed little Popup appeared and said: You've
Got Male!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Will the father be present during the birth?" asked the
obstetrician.
"Nah," replied the mother-to-be. "He and my husband don't get along."
Keep Laughing
:rtfl :rtfl :rtfl :rtfl :rtfl

 

[DJ Ager]

Why shouldn't you play football in the south of France?

Because you're bound Toulouse.

 

[kamrandahir]

blonde goes to the doctor and as she touches each part of her body with her finger she says: oc it hurts everywhere. y leg hurts, my arm hurts, my neck hurts, and even my head hurts! oc what's wrong? he doctor answers: our finger is broken!

 

[jdeus]

Do you hate blondes or something??


One day 3 blonde girls are walking in some woods when one of then sees some tracks. The first blonde says, "Hey look rabbit tracks!" The second blonde says, "No, they're fox tracks!" The third and tallest blonde says, "Your both stupid they're bear tracks!"
They decide to follow the tracks. 10 minutes later they are dead.
That evening on the news the newsreader says, "Tragedy as 3 young blonde women are hit by a train in Nasworth Woods"

 

[jdeus]

A lawyer defending a man accused of burglary tried this creative defense: "My client merely inserted his arm into the window and removed a few trifling articles. His arm is not himself, and I fail to see how you can punish the whole individual for an offense committed by his limb." "Well put," the judge replied. "Using your logic, I sentence the defendant's arm to one year's imprisonMent. He can accompany it or not, as he chooses." The defendant smiled. With his lawyer's assistance he detached his artificial limb, laid it on the bench, and walked out.

Not great but someone was adiment that I put it up.

 

[jdeus]

A man wakes into a bar. And says, "Ow"

Two men walk into a bar. Surely the second guy should have seen it!

 

[kookaburra69]

A man wakes into a bar. And says, "Ow"

Two men walk into a bar. Surely the second guy should have seen it!

haha quite lame,but good