duffarama
Chairman of Selectors
The_gas enters his pin into the ATMs all the time. And he enjoys it. 
The Jokes Thread
- Thread starter scorpion_rulezz
- Start date
plympilgrim
International Coach
- Joined
- Aug 19, 2006
- Online Cricket Games Owned
there are 3 types of people in this world:
those who can count and those who can't
those who can count and those who can't
nightprowler10
Executive member
- Joined
- Nov 8, 2004
- Location
- Madhouse on Madison
- Online Cricket Games Owned
- Don Bradman Cricket 14 - PS3
Not quite a joke, but didn't see the need for a new thread on this.
This is for firefox users only. Copy and paste the following code into your address bar and watch what happens:
Scroll to the top of the page. Pretty cool, eh?
Note: This will not work for people who are already high on marijuana.
This is for firefox users only. Copy and paste the following code into your address bar and watch what happens:
Code:
javascript:R=0; x1=.1; y1=.05; x2=.25; y2=.24; x3=1.6; y3=.24; x4=300; y4=200; x5=300; y5=200; DI=document.getElementsByTagName("img"); DIL=DI.length; function A(){for(i=0; i-DIL; i++){DIS=DI[ i ].style; DIS.position='absolute'; DIS.left=(Math.sin(R*x1+i*x2+x3)*x4+x5)+"px"; DIS.top=(Math.cos(R*y1+i*y2+y3)*y4+y5)+"px"}R++}setInterval('A()',5); void(0);Scroll to the top of the page. Pretty cool, eh?
Note: This will not work for people who are already high on marijuana.
gamerkid22
National Board President
A married couple in their early 60s was out celebrating their 35th
wedding anniversary in a quiet, romantic little restaurant.
Suddenly, a tiny yet beautiful fairy appeared on their table and
said, "For being such an exemplary married couple and for being
faithful to each other for all this time, I will grant you each a wish."
"Ooh, I want to travel around the world with my darling husband,"
said the wife. The fairy moved her magic stick and - abracadabra! - two
tickets for the new QM2 luxury liner appeared in her hands.
Now it was the husband's turn. He thought for a moment and said,
"Well, this is all very romantic, but an opportunity like this only
occurs once in a lifetime, so I'm sorry, my love, but my wish is to have a
wife 30 years younger than me".
The wife, and the fairy, were deeply disappointed, but a wish is
a wish...
So the fairy made a circle with her magic stick, and
-abracadabra! - the husband became 92 years old.
The moral of this story...
Men might be ungrateful idiots ... But fairies are...female
wedding anniversary in a quiet, romantic little restaurant.
Suddenly, a tiny yet beautiful fairy appeared on their table and
said, "For being such an exemplary married couple and for being
faithful to each other for all this time, I will grant you each a wish."
"Ooh, I want to travel around the world with my darling husband,"
said the wife. The fairy moved her magic stick and - abracadabra! - two
tickets for the new QM2 luxury liner appeared in her hands.
Now it was the husband's turn. He thought for a moment and said,
"Well, this is all very romantic, but an opportunity like this only
occurs once in a lifetime, so I'm sorry, my love, but my wish is to have a
wife 30 years younger than me".
The wife, and the fairy, were deeply disappointed, but a wish is
a wish...
So the fairy made a circle with her magic stick, and
-abracadabra! - the husband became 92 years old.
The moral of this story...
Men might be ungrateful idiots ... But fairies are...female
Left_Hander
Chairman of Selectors
- Joined
- Apr 25, 2006
- Online Cricket Games Owned
That's a good one Gamer 
Karachi Xpress
Chairman of Selectors
- Joined
- Jul 25, 2005
- Location
- Canada
Sardar got into a bus on 1st April when conductor asked for ticket.
He gave Rs.10/- and took the ticket and said April fool. I have already have a ticket
======== ==========
Sardar joined new job. 1st day he worked till late evening on the
computer.
Boss was happy and asked what you did till evening.
Sardar : Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so I made them alright.
========= ==========
On a romantic day sardar's girlfriend asks him. Darling on our
engagement day will you give me a ring.
Sardar : Ya sure, from landline or mobile.
============ ========= ==
2 sardars were fixing a bomb in a car.
Sardar 1 : What would you do if the bomb explodes while fixing.
sardar 2 : Dont worry, I have one more.
============ ========= ==
Sardar was busy removing a wheel from
his auto. A man asks sardar why
are you removing a wheel from your auto.
sardar : Cant you read the board. Parking is only for 2 wheeler.
============ ========= =======
Boss : Where were you born ?
sardar : Punjab .
Boss : which part ?
sardar : Wht which part ? Whole body born in punjab.
============ ======
How will you destroy a submarine full of sardars ?
Simple. Just knock the door and they will open it.
He gave Rs.10/- and took the ticket and said April fool. I have already have a ticket
======== ==========
Sardar joined new job. 1st day he worked till late evening on the
computer.
Boss was happy and asked what you did till evening.
Sardar : Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so I made them alright.
========= ==========
On a romantic day sardar's girlfriend asks him. Darling on our
engagement day will you give me a ring.
Sardar : Ya sure, from landline or mobile.
============ ========= ==
2 sardars were fixing a bomb in a car.
Sardar 1 : What would you do if the bomb explodes while fixing.
sardar 2 : Dont worry, I have one more.
============ ========= ==
Sardar was busy removing a wheel from
his auto. A man asks sardar why
are you removing a wheel from your auto.
sardar : Cant you read the board. Parking is only for 2 wheeler.
============ ========= =======
Boss : Where were you born ?
sardar : Punjab .
Boss : which part ?
sardar : Wht which part ? Whole body born in punjab.
============ ======
How will you destroy a submarine full of sardars ?
Simple. Just knock the door and they will open it.
Karachi Xpress
Chairman of Selectors
- Joined
- Jul 25, 2005
- Location
- Canada
Bholaji and Pyarelal rob a bank and mess it up,
managing to escape with two sacks that they find on the floor.
And they take one sack each. After awhile they meet again and one asks the other,
'What did you find in your sack?'
'Ten lakh Rupees!'
'Wow... that's a lot! What did you do with the cash?'
'I bought a house. How about your sack?'
'Aahh... it was full of loan documents.'
'And what did you do with them?'
'Eh, well... little by little, I'm paying them off...'
managing to escape with two sacks that they find on the floor.
And they take one sack each. After awhile they meet again and one asks the other,
'What did you find in your sack?'
'Ten lakh Rupees!'
'Wow... that's a lot! What did you do with the cash?'
'I bought a house. How about your sack?'
'Aahh... it was full of loan documents.'
'And what did you do with them?'
'Eh, well... little by little, I'm paying them off...'
Karachi Xpress
Chairman of Selectors
- Joined
- Jul 25, 2005
- Location
- Canada
" Good Wan! (Good One!)"
Caller: Hello, can I speak to Annie Wan ?
Operator: Yes, you can speak to me.
Caller : No, I want to speak to Annie Wan!
Operator: Yes I understand you want to speak to anyone. You can speak to me. Who is this?
Caller : I'm Sam Wan. And I need to talk to Annie Wan! It's urgent.
Operator: I know you are someone and you want to talk to anyone ! But what's this urgent matter about?
Caller: Well... just tell my sister Annie Wan that our brother Noe Wan was involved in an accident. Noe Wan got injured and now Noe Wan is being sent to the hospital. Right now, Avery Wan is on his way to the hospital.
Operator : Look, if no one was injured and no one was sent to the hospital, then the accident isn't an urgent matter! You may find this hilarious but I don't have time for this!
Caller : You are so rude! Who are you?
Operator: I'm Saw Ree.
Caller: Yes! You should be sorry . Now give me your name!!
Operator: That's what I said. I'm Saw Ree ..
Caller: Oh ......God!!!!
Caller: Hello, can I speak to Annie Wan ?
Operator: Yes, you can speak to me.
Caller : No, I want to speak to Annie Wan!
Operator: Yes I understand you want to speak to anyone. You can speak to me. Who is this?
Caller : I'm Sam Wan. And I need to talk to Annie Wan! It's urgent.
Operator: I know you are someone and you want to talk to anyone ! But what's this urgent matter about?
Caller: Well... just tell my sister Annie Wan that our brother Noe Wan was involved in an accident. Noe Wan got injured and now Noe Wan is being sent to the hospital. Right now, Avery Wan is on his way to the hospital.
Operator : Look, if no one was injured and no one was sent to the hospital, then the accident isn't an urgent matter! You may find this hilarious but I don't have time for this!
Caller : You are so rude! Who are you?
Operator: I'm Saw Ree.
Caller: Yes! You should be sorry . Now give me your name!!
Operator: That's what I said. I'm Saw Ree ..
Caller: Oh ......God!!!!
Karachi Xpress
Chairman of Selectors
- Joined
- Jul 25, 2005
- Location
- Canada
A first grade teacher explains to her class that she is an American.
She asks her students to raise their hands if they were American too.
Not really knowing why but wanting to be like their teacher, their
hands explode into the air like flashy fireworks.
There is, however, one exception. A girl named Gita has not gone along
with the crowd.
The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different.
"Because I am not an American." replied Gita.
"Then", asks the teacher, "What are you?"
"I'm a proud Indian," boasts the little girl.
The teacher is a little perturbed now, her face slightly red. She asks
Gita. why she is an Indian.
"Well", my mom and dad are Indians, "so I'm an Indian too."
The teacher is now angry. "That's no reason", she says loudly "if your
mom was an idiot, and your dad was an idiot, what would you be then?" A
pause, and a smile.
"Then" says Gita, "I'd be an American
She asks her students to raise their hands if they were American too.
Not really knowing why but wanting to be like their teacher, their
hands explode into the air like flashy fireworks.
There is, however, one exception. A girl named Gita has not gone along
with the crowd.
The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different.
"Because I am not an American." replied Gita.
"Then", asks the teacher, "What are you?"
"I'm a proud Indian," boasts the little girl.
The teacher is a little perturbed now, her face slightly red. She asks
Gita. why she is an Indian.
"Well", my mom and dad are Indians, "so I'm an Indian too."
The teacher is now angry. "That's no reason", she says loudly "if your
mom was an idiot, and your dad was an idiot, what would you be then?" A
pause, and a smile.
"Then" says Gita, "I'd be an American
duffarama
Chairman of Selectors
Great jokes Karachi. Those teacher jokes never get old do they?
Keep it up!
Keep it up!
wolf
International Cricketer
A blonde went to the hair dressers with earphones on. After much cajoling the hairdresser got her to take the earphone off so he could cut her hair. The blonde immediatly dropped dead. Everyone was standing around wondering what killed her when the hairdresser picked up the earphones and listened:
Breathe in.........................Breathe out...................Breathe in................Breathe out
Breathe in.........................Breathe out...................Breathe in................Breathe out
scorpion_rulezz
Club Cricketer
ENGLISH OF A DESI TEACHER
In class
* Open the doors of the window. Let the atmosphere come in.
* Open the doors of the window. Let the air force come in.
* Cut an apple in two halfs- take the bigger half.
* Shhh...Quiet, boys...the principal just passed away outside
* Both of you three, get out of the class.
* Close the doors of the window.
* Take Copper Wire of any metal specially of Silver.
* Take 5 cm wire of any length
About family
* I have two daughters both of them are girls
At the play ground
* All of you, stand in a straight circle.
* There is no wind in the balloon.
Punishment
* You, rotate the ground four times
* You, go and under-stand the tree
* You three of you, stand together separately.
* Why you are late - say YES or NO
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Wife: Honey...... What are you looking for?
Husband: Nothing.
Wife: Nothing...?? You 've been reading our marriage certificate for an
hour...??
Husband : I was just looking for the expiry date
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to
get married?" And the father replied, "I don't know, son, I'm
still paying.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
A 70-year-old man goes to the doctor's for a physical.
The doctor runs some tests and says to the man, ''Well, everything seems to be in top condition physically, but what about mentally? How is your connection with God?''
And the man says, ''Oh me and God? We're tight. We have a real bond, he's good to me. Every night when I have to get up to go to the bathroom, he turns on the light for me, and then, when I leave, he turns it back off.''
Well, upon hearing this the doctor was astonished
He called the man's wife and said, ''I'd like to speak to you about your husband's connection with God. He claims that every night when he needs to use the restroom, God turns on the light for him and turns it off for him again when he leaves. Is this true?''
And she says, ''That idiot, he's been peeing in the refrigerator
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
In class
* Open the doors of the window. Let the atmosphere come in.
* Open the doors of the window. Let the air force come in.
* Cut an apple in two halfs- take the bigger half.
* Shhh...Quiet, boys...the principal just passed away outside
* Both of you three, get out of the class.
* Close the doors of the window.
* Take Copper Wire of any metal specially of Silver.
* Take 5 cm wire of any length
About family
* I have two daughters both of them are girls
At the play ground
* All of you, stand in a straight circle.
* There is no wind in the balloon.
Punishment
* You, rotate the ground four times
* You, go and under-stand the tree
* You three of you, stand together separately.
* Why you are late - say YES or NO
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Wife: Honey...... What are you looking for?
Husband: Nothing.
Wife: Nothing...?? You 've been reading our marriage certificate for an
hour...??
Husband : I was just looking for the expiry date
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to
get married?" And the father replied, "I don't know, son, I'm
still paying.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
A 70-year-old man goes to the doctor's for a physical.
The doctor runs some tests and says to the man, ''Well, everything seems to be in top condition physically, but what about mentally? How is your connection with God?''
And the man says, ''Oh me and God? We're tight. We have a real bond, he's good to me. Every night when I have to get up to go to the bathroom, he turns on the light for me, and then, when I leave, he turns it back off.''
Well, upon hearing this the doctor was astonished
He called the man's wife and said, ''I'd like to speak to you about your husband's connection with God. He claims that every night when he needs to use the restroom, God turns on the light for him and turns it off for him again when he leaves. Is this true?''
And she says, ''That idiot, he's been peeing in the refrigerator
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
