Cricketdude
Chairman of Selectors
Why will Newcastle never win the league?
Because they keep scoring Owen goals
:laugh
Because they keep scoring Owen goals
:laugh
The Jokes Thread
- Thread starter scorpion_rulezz
- Start date
Four worms were placed into four separate jars. The first worm was put into a jar of alcohol. The second worm was put into a jar of cigarette smoke. The third worm was put into a jar of sperm. The fourth worm was put into a jar of soil.
After one day:
First worm - dead
Second worm - dead.
Third worm - dead.
Fourth worm - alive.
Therefore, if you smoke, drink and have sex often, you won't get worms!
After one day:
First worm - dead
Second worm - dead.
Third worm - dead.
Fourth worm - alive.
Therefore, if you smoke, drink and have sex often, you won't get worms!
Sorry ladies, not good enough
C'mon people, 600K vCash on the line here!
A young unwed girl discovers that she is pregnant.
Scared, she confides this 'news' to her mother.
Shouting, cursing, crying, the mother says, "Who was the pig that did
this to you? I want to know!"
The girl picks up the phone and makes a call.
Half an hour later a Ferrari stops in front of their house. A mature
and distinguished man with gray hair and impeccably dressed in a very
expensive suit steps out of it and enters the house.
He sits in the living room with the father, the mother and the girl,
and tells them: "Good morning, your daughter has informed me of the problem.
However, I can't marry her because of my personal family situation, but I'll takeresponsibility.
If a girl is born I will bequeath her 2 retail stores, a townhouse, a
beach villa and a $1,000,000 bank account. If a boy is born, my legacy
will be a couple of factories and a $2,000,000 bank account. If it is
twins, a factory and $1,000,000 each. However, if there is a
miscarriage, what do you suggest I do?"
At this point, the father, who had remained silent, places a hand
firmly on the man's shoulder and tells him,
"You can try again!".....
:happy
yogy added 3 Minutes and 6 Seconds later...
Imagine World Without GIRLS
RESULT
MARKET-Silent
STREET-Empty
POLICE-At Rest
MOBILE COMPANYS-At Loss
No SMS
NO Valentine
No Suicide
No crime
"Guys Are In Heaven"
OLD people have problems that you haven't even considered yet!
An 85-year-old man was requested by his doctor for a sperm count as part
of his physical exam.
The doctor gave the man a jar and said, 'Take this jar home and bring
back a semen sample tomorrow.'
The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor's office and
gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day.
The doctor asked what happened and the man explained, 'Well, doc, it's
like this - first I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried
with my left hand, but still nothing. Then I asked my wife for help. She
tried with her right hand, then with her left, still nothing. She tried
with her mo uth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, still
nothing.
We even called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried too, first
with both hands and she even tried squeezin' it between her knees, but
still nothing.
The doctor was shocked!
'You asked your neighbor?'
The old man replied, 'Yep, none of us could get the jar open.'
An 85-year-old man was requested by his doctor for a sperm count as part
of his physical exam.
The doctor gave the man a jar and said, 'Take this jar home and bring
back a semen sample tomorrow.'
The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor's office and
gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day.
The doctor asked what happened and the man explained, 'Well, doc, it's
like this - first I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried
with my left hand, but still nothing. Then I asked my wife for help. She
tried with her right hand, then with her left, still nothing. She tried
with her mo uth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, still
nothing.
We even called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried too, first
with both hands and she even tried squeezin' it between her knees, but
still nothing.
The doctor was shocked!
'You asked your neighbor?'
The old man replied, 'Yep, none of us could get the jar open.'
Last edited:
Jaztheman
Chairman of Selectors
n old man is sitting on a park bench crying. A young man is walking by and asks him why he's crying. The old man says, "I'm retired and I have lots of money, a huge luxury apartment, a beautiful 25 year old wife who loves me and has sex with me twice a day"
The young man says, "Well then why the hell are you crying!?"
The old man replies, "I can't remember where I live!"
------
How do you make 100 old ladies yell, "****!" at the same time?
Have another one of them yell, "BINGO!"
------
Why doesn't Santa Claus have any kids?
Cause he only comes once a year!
The young man says, "Well then why the hell are you crying!?"
The old man replies, "I can't remember where I live!"
------
How do you make 100 old ladies yell, "****!" at the same time?
Have another one of them yell, "BINGO!"
------
Why doesn't Santa Claus have any kids?
Cause he only comes once a year!
Leggie
Chairman of Selectors
- Joined
- Aug 1, 2007
- Online Cricket Games Owned
Karachi Xpress
Chairman of Selectors
- Joined
- Jul 25, 2005
- Location
- Canada
Screw you Zorax
Victoria Beckham has admitted sleeping with Gary Glitter whilst in L.A, Glitter has denied it, stating he was in Brooklyn at the time.
And a little lighter one:
A man is sat in a restaurant when suddenly he gets hit on the back of his head by a prawn cocktail. He turns round and a bloke says:
"And that's just for starters"
And a little lighter one:
A man is sat in a restaurant when suddenly he gets hit on the back of his head by a prawn cocktail. He turns round and a bloke says:
"And that's just for starters"
Last edited:
