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Bank Roberry
Bholaji and Pyarelal rob a bank and mess it up, managing to escape with two sacks that they find on the floor. And they take one sack each. After awhile they meet again and one asks the other,
'What did you find in your sack?'
'Ten lakh Rupees!'
'Wow... that's a lot! What did you do with the cash?'
'I bought a house. How about your sack?'
'Bah... it was full of loan documents.'
'And what did you do with them?'
'Eh, well... little by little, I'm paying them off...'
Bhola at the hospital
Gangaram was in the hospital, near death, so the family sent for his friend Bhola. As Bhola stood beside the bed, Gangaram's frail condition grew worse, and he motioned frantically for something to write on. Bhola lovingly handed him a pen and piece of paper, and Gangaram used his last ounce of strength to scribble a note. Then he died. Bhola thought it best not to look at the note just then, so he slipped it in to his jacket pocket. Several days later, at the funeral, Bhola was visiting Gangaram's family. He realized that he was wearing the same jacket that he'd worn the day Gangaram died. "You know," he said, "Gangaram handed me a note just before he died. I haven't read it, but knowing Gangaram, I'm sure there's a word of inspiration there for us all". He unfolded the note and read aloud:
"Kutte Kamiene (*******)
![Grin :D :D](/forums/styles/planetcricket/xenforo/smilies/biggrin.png)
, you're standing on my oxygen tube!"
Short Funny Quotes
I look at the stars, the stars r beautiful
Then I look at you......
I ......
I .......
I rather look at the stars again.
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Look at the world as one big chocolate cake.
It would never be complete without few sweets n nuts.
Sweets like ME and nuts like YOU.
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If lord Krishna flirts, people say its RAAS LEELA.
If we flirt, people say our character is DHEELA.
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Good looking people r hard to find.
That's why u don't ......
That's y u don't see me often.
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When u feel sad....
To cheer up just go to the mirror and say,
"damn I am really sooo cute" u will overcome ur sadness.
But don't make this a habit.....
Coz liars go to hell !!!!
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Your brain will be refreshed in the next five seconds.....
5......
4.........
3.......
2.......
1........
LOADING.....
ERROR: no brain detected.
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WIFE : " I wish I was a newspaper, so I'd be in ur hands all day."
HUSBAND : " I too wish that u were a newspaper, so I could have a new one everyday."
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Guts!
In a ship the Generals of three nations were traveling with their soldiers. They started the topic that whose soldier had more of guts.
The American general called for one of his men and told him to jump down the ship and take a round swimming around the moving ship.The soldier did as he was commanded and the general boasted of by saying "See the guts !".
Now the German general called out for one of his men and asked him to take two similar rounds.the soldier did as he was told.when he came back from the water the German said "See the guts ".
Now the Indian General called out for his most courageous man and asked him to take five similar rounds. The soldier promptly replied, "Am I your dad's servant?".
At this the general proudly said "See the guts".
George Bush in a School
George Bush goes to a primary school to give a speech.
After his talk he offers question time.
One little boy puts up his hand and George asks him what his name is. "Bob".
"And what is your question, Bob?"
"I have 3 questions.
First, Why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of the UN?
Second, Why are you President when Kerry got more votes?
And third, What happened to Osama Bin Laden?
Just then the bell rings for recess. George Bush informs the kiddies that they will continue after recess.
When they resume George says, "OK, where were we?
Oh that's right --- question time. Who has a question?"
A different little boy puts up his hand . George points him out and asks him what his name is. "Steve"
"And what is your question, Steve?"
"I have 5 questions.
First, Why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of the UN?
Second, Why are you President when Kerry got more votes?
Third, What happened to Osama Bin Laden?
Fourth, Why did the recess bell go 20 minutes early?!
And fifth, Where is "Bob"? !!
Stupid Questions with Smart Answers
Teacher : "Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?"
Pupil : "The moon".
Teacher : "Why?"
Pupil : "The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun gives us light only in the day time when we don't need it".
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Waiter : "Would you like your coffee black?"
Customer : "What other colors do you have?"
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My father is so old that when he was in school, history was called current affairs.
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Teacher : "Sam, you talk a lot !"
Sam : "It's a family tradition".
Teacher : "What do you mean?"
Sam : "Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father is a teacher".
Teacher : "What about your mother?"
Sam : "She's a woman".
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Tom : "How should I convey the news to my father that I've failed?"
David: "You just send a telegram: Result declared, past year's performance repeated".
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Teacher : "Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I be showing?"
Student : "Brotherly love".
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Teacher : "Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?"
Sam : "No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook".
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Patient : "What are the chances of my recovering doctor?"
Doctor : "One hundred percent. Medical records show that nine out of ten people die of the disease you have. Yours is the tenth case I've treated. The others all died".
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Teacher : "! George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it.
Now do you know why his father didn't punish him ?"
One Student: " Because George still had the axe in is hand."
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