Dr. Pepper
Chairman of Selectors
I lol'd at the last sentence 
. Great humour as always.
. Great humour as always.
Story Famous XI?s six6 World Tour, NZ game complete - VOTE AND YOU'LL HAVE MORE FRIENDS
- Thread starter tassietiger
- Start date
Left_Hander
Chairman of Selectors
- Joined
- Apr 25, 2006
- Online Cricket Games Owned
I got that
Great story, really enjoying this.
Cricketman
ICC Chairman
- Joined
- Jul 27, 2005
- Location
- USA
Bush and Kachra! LOL
If this was half of your last story it would still be the best story on PC. Keep it up mate!
If this was half of your last story it would still be the best story on PC. Keep it up mate!
tassietiger
International Cricketer
- Joined
- Mar 15, 2005
- Online Cricket Games Owned
The opening game against South Africa in Johannesburg is starting shortly. The captains have had their toss and now they are coming out to the middle to toss the coin.
Charlie Sheen and Graeme Smythe have both historically done quite well for themselves as far as the ladies went, but it was only one man who could win the coin toss, and that was none other than our Charlie. As the famous XI are still quite unsure as to what is a good score in this form of the game, Charlie opted to have a bowl. He also thinks if the team bats well, as it is a day/night game, he?ll be able to sneak off in the batting innings and ?test out? the local talent.
The first over from the Famous XI?s speedster Clark Kent put his team firmly in front, taking the wicket of opposing captain Graeme Smythe off his first ball, brilliantly taken by wicketkeeper George W. Bush. The over settled down a bit after that, Kulles and Boormaan picking off singles and leaving one vicious wide ball that was a lot closer to the batsman?s head than the umpire deemed it to be. This over left South Africa at 1/4.
The second over from the Die Hard movies? star Bruce Willis was not as sensational. Bruce relished a challenge in all of his movies, and never seemed to make things easy for himself. In this case, he was turning a pretty easy game into one of those challenges. The over went for 22 runs, including five boundaries, one of them run, and another off a no-ball. Captain Charlie Sheen was left with no option but to take him out of the attack, not quite as harsh a call considering you?re only allowed one over in this form of cricket. South Africa 1/26.
Kachra from Lagaan was put on to bowl the the third over, not by Charlie Sheen?s choice, more by Codemasters? brilliant coding which seems to think that you will always bowl your bowlers from most skilled to least skilled. The all-rounders would have been a good option for this stage but it would be foolish to argue with Codemasters? brilliant minds. However annoying the timing of it was, Kachra from Lagaan?s over was brilliant. 1/2 off the over, all through brilliant spin bowling, excluding a rank half-tracker which Jacques Kulles decided to miss. The ball that took the wicket of the run-making Boormaan was a big-spinning wrong?un on the stumps, quite an effort using a two-and-a-bit-over-old ball. This pegged South Africa back to 2/28 off three overs, and the game seemingly quite evenly poised.
Once again, frustratingly, Charlie Sheen, the next best rated bowler, was put on to bowl. Honestly, I have done a little bit of programming and that is enough to understand that a problem like this is fixable. Get it sorted, Codemasters. Despite this, his over was good, conceding four runs. George W. Bush missed a possible catch off one ball, but seemed to ignore the ball and let the first slip go and pick it up after a cheeky single was run. Probably a little bit lazy, but he has been more on the ball during this game than he was during his Presidency, quite easily. South Africa 2/32 off four overs.
Finally, Charlie was given the option of what bowler to put on, arguably too late. It didn?t make a huge difference, seeing as Mark Nicholas had primed himself for the occasion. Clearly all of that time spent in the commentary box had forced him to appreciate what actually makes a good cricketer, and when he got to have his bowl, he struck. Getting the crucial wicket of Kulles, clean bowled going for a flick on the leg side, and deserving two more wickets but missing out due to dropped catches, it was a fair call to say this was the best over in six6 history. 1/1 were his figures, and he deserved better ones, but still bear in mind, readers, I do think he is a tool and you are still allowed to drop him, whether he is the best bowler or not. South Africa 3/33 off five overs, and looking pretty ordinary at the moment.
The last over was to be bowled by golfing superstar Tiger Woods, being the only player still allowed to bowl who would be able to avoid looking like a gherkin. (Bring that word back, I loved it) His figures for the over were 1/3, and he bowled in a similar way to Nicholas in the over before him. His wicket came off a good catch by Isaac Newton, whose judgement of angles continues to impress the team, getting into the perfect position as usual. South Africa?s lacklustre batting towards the end was quite unusual, some would say unrealistic, but they would be unfair. 4/36 in a six6 match should be a walk in the park for the Famous XI, really.
Many interesting questions would have filled Charlie Sheen?s mind after the innings. Are medium pacers and spinners the best option in six6 games? Considering Clark Kent and Bruce Willis both bowl fast, is Clark Kent amazing or is Bruce Willis rubbish? Is 0/22 off one over when the team goes for 4/36 off six one of the worst efforts ever seen, not just in cricket, but in sport? Where is the South African ?hot spot? for night clubs, seeing as he shouldn?t need to bat himself? Pretty straight-forward questions until you get to the last one.
Charlie Sheen and Graeme Smythe have both historically done quite well for themselves as far as the ladies went, but it was only one man who could win the coin toss, and that was none other than our Charlie. As the famous XI are still quite unsure as to what is a good score in this form of the game, Charlie opted to have a bowl. He also thinks if the team bats well, as it is a day/night game, he?ll be able to sneak off in the batting innings and ?test out? the local talent.
The first over from the Famous XI?s speedster Clark Kent put his team firmly in front, taking the wicket of opposing captain Graeme Smythe off his first ball, brilliantly taken by wicketkeeper George W. Bush. The over settled down a bit after that, Kulles and Boormaan picking off singles and leaving one vicious wide ball that was a lot closer to the batsman?s head than the umpire deemed it to be. This over left South Africa at 1/4.
The second over from the Die Hard movies? star Bruce Willis was not as sensational. Bruce relished a challenge in all of his movies, and never seemed to make things easy for himself. In this case, he was turning a pretty easy game into one of those challenges. The over went for 22 runs, including five boundaries, one of them run, and another off a no-ball. Captain Charlie Sheen was left with no option but to take him out of the attack, not quite as harsh a call considering you?re only allowed one over in this form of cricket. South Africa 1/26.
Kachra from Lagaan was put on to bowl the the third over, not by Charlie Sheen?s choice, more by Codemasters? brilliant coding which seems to think that you will always bowl your bowlers from most skilled to least skilled. The all-rounders would have been a good option for this stage but it would be foolish to argue with Codemasters? brilliant minds. However annoying the timing of it was, Kachra from Lagaan?s over was brilliant. 1/2 off the over, all through brilliant spin bowling, excluding a rank half-tracker which Jacques Kulles decided to miss. The ball that took the wicket of the run-making Boormaan was a big-spinning wrong?un on the stumps, quite an effort using a two-and-a-bit-over-old ball. This pegged South Africa back to 2/28 off three overs, and the game seemingly quite evenly poised.
Once again, frustratingly, Charlie Sheen, the next best rated bowler, was put on to bowl. Honestly, I have done a little bit of programming and that is enough to understand that a problem like this is fixable. Get it sorted, Codemasters. Despite this, his over was good, conceding four runs. George W. Bush missed a possible catch off one ball, but seemed to ignore the ball and let the first slip go and pick it up after a cheeky single was run. Probably a little bit lazy, but he has been more on the ball during this game than he was during his Presidency, quite easily. South Africa 2/32 off four overs.
Finally, Charlie was given the option of what bowler to put on, arguably too late. It didn?t make a huge difference, seeing as Mark Nicholas had primed himself for the occasion. Clearly all of that time spent in the commentary box had forced him to appreciate what actually makes a good cricketer, and when he got to have his bowl, he struck. Getting the crucial wicket of Kulles, clean bowled going for a flick on the leg side, and deserving two more wickets but missing out due to dropped catches, it was a fair call to say this was the best over in six6 history. 1/1 were his figures, and he deserved better ones, but still bear in mind, readers, I do think he is a tool and you are still allowed to drop him, whether he is the best bowler or not. South Africa 3/33 off five overs, and looking pretty ordinary at the moment.
The last over was to be bowled by golfing superstar Tiger Woods, being the only player still allowed to bowl who would be able to avoid looking like a gherkin. (Bring that word back, I loved it) His figures for the over were 1/3, and he bowled in a similar way to Nicholas in the over before him. His wicket came off a good catch by Isaac Newton, whose judgement of angles continues to impress the team, getting into the perfect position as usual. South Africa?s lacklustre batting towards the end was quite unusual, some would say unrealistic, but they would be unfair. 4/36 in a six6 match should be a walk in the park for the Famous XI, really.
Many interesting questions would have filled Charlie Sheen?s mind after the innings. Are medium pacers and spinners the best option in six6 games? Considering Clark Kent and Bruce Willis both bowl fast, is Clark Kent amazing or is Bruce Willis rubbish? Is 0/22 off one over when the team goes for 4/36 off six one of the worst efforts ever seen, not just in cricket, but in sport? Where is the South African ?hot spot? for night clubs, seeing as he shouldn?t need to bat himself? Pretty straight-forward questions until you get to the last one.
Code:
South African Innings
G. Smythe c Bush b Kent 0 (1)
L. Boormaan b from Lagaan 21 (8)
J. Kulles b Nicholas 5 (14)
H. Gybb not out 5 (8)
A. B. De Valery c Newton b Woods 1 (3)
J. Kasper not out 2 (4)
Extras 2
Overs 6
Total 36 / 4
Bowler Overs Runs Wickets
C. Kent 1 4 1
B. Willis 1 22 0
K. from Lagaan 1 2 1
C. Sheen 1 4 0
M. Nicholas 1 1 1
T. Woods 1 3 1Left_Hander
Chairman of Selectors
- Joined
- Apr 25, 2006
- Online Cricket Games Owned
The in-game Bruce Willis looks exactly the same as the real life Bruce Willis
Great update. Bruce Willis let his team down, extremely dissapointing .Hoping Hendrix gets a bat. Pretty much all of this story is quote-worthy
Great update. Bruce Willis let his team down, extremely dissapointing .Hoping Hendrix gets a bat. Pretty much all of this story is quote-worthy
ansariaamir_leo
International Cricketer
Haha.. Nice update... Keep up!!! Good to see Kachra performing well
just_cricket
Club Captain
AWESOME! I would seriously vote for this in next month's SOTM for pure entertainment. :hpraise the humour is so my sort of humour. You should make a movie out of this it would be a cracker.
Jaztheman
Chairman of Selectors
Brilliant stuff, Tassie, as expected. The Saffers didn't bat very well with the Famoux XI bowling the best to their ability. Or most of them anyway. The humour is just glowing through and it's a fantastic story so far.
Great presentation, very funny.
Great presentation, very funny.
tassietiger
International Cricketer
- Joined
- Mar 15, 2005
- Online Cricket Games Owned
The first over was to be bowled by Patterson, and John Lennon was facing the first ball. They worked the ball around a little, Lennon surviving an LBW shout, and then while attempting a cover drive was caught and bowled, off a leading edge. This meant that South Africa once again thought they were a chance, despite them not being one, due to them getting 36 runs off six overs. Pretty ordinary effort from them. Famous XI 1/4 off one over, Nicholas 0*, Newton 1*.
Kasper came on to bowl the second over, and once again Newton avoided the strike like a little girl, and once again, the other batsman, in this case Mark Nicholas, got out from a caught and bowled chance. THIS IS GROUNDS FOR GETTING DROPPED. VOTE FOR HIM. Sir Isaac managed to clip away the team?s first boundary for the innings as well, also the first boundary in six6 history to be hit off a bowler other than Bruce Willis. The two historical figures in Newton and Shakespeare remained at the crease at the end of the over. Famous XI 2/13 off two overs, Newton 8*, Shakespeare 1*.
Graeme Smythe decided it was a reasonable option to slip in a few all-rounder overs now, and hopefully they can keep the runs down for when their other bowlers come on at the end. In hindsight, it was a bad idea. Especially with no mid-off. Newton hit two straight drive boundaries, until getting off strike like a little girl yet again. This usually means the end for the other batsman. Shakespeare didn?t fall into the trap this time though, instead smashing two down the ground sixes with no fear, given that Kallis had wisely chosen to bowl without a mid-on or a mid-off, and in fact no protection down the ground. This left the Famous XI with only three runs to win off the last ball of the over, and ever the gentleman, Shakespeare left it, letting Newton get the runs off the next over. There was possibly a hint of protecting the average in it, but that was ignored. Famous XI 2/34 off three overs, Newton 17*, Shakespeare 13*.
Makhaya Ntone came on to bowl the fourth over, but it was too little too late, as Isaac Newton punched a single and William Shakespeare stepped across his stumps in a shot you would say is strange, but considering he seemed to make half his words up in his writing days, you could understand him making up the odd shot when batting. Famous XI ended up on 2/37 off 3.2 overs, Isaac Newton top-scoring with 18*, William Shakespeare giving him a fair crack with 17*. Captain Charlie Sheen was said to be thrilled, but was also said to be unaware of the result, he was more excited about a positive answer to an interesting proposition he made to two young South African ladies out on the town.
Code:
Famous XI Innings
J. Lennon c&b Patterson 3 (3)
I. Newton not out 18 (10)
M. Nicholas c&b Kasper 0 (2)
W. Shakespeare not out 17 (5)
Extras 1
Overs 3.2
Total 39 / 2
Bowler Overs Runs Wickets
J. Kulles 1 21 0
J. Kasper 1 9 1
R. Patterson 1 4 1
M. Ntone 0.2 5 0
tassietiger
International Cricketer
- Joined
- Mar 15, 2005
- Online Cricket Games Owned
With Zorax and Jaz's votes in, the standings are:
5 votes - Mark Nicholas (THANK GOD I HATE THIS GUY)
3 votes - Kachra from Lagaan
2 votes - George W. Bush
2 votes - Tiger Woods
I'll end the voting about 24 hours from now (key word being about, I don't do organised), and then I'll have a synopsis for the new debutants, most likely two of them.
5 votes - Mark Nicholas (THANK GOD I HATE THIS GUY)
3 votes - Kachra from Lagaan
2 votes - George W. Bush
2 votes - Tiger Woods
I'll end the voting about 24 hours from now (key word being about, I don't do organised), and then I'll have a synopsis for the new debutants, most likely two of them.
mattfb
Chairman of Selectors
Haha, awesome work Tassie. Great humour.
3. Mark Nicholas
2. Kachra
1. Bush
3. Mark Nicholas
2. Kachra
1. Bush
tassietiger
International Cricketer
- Joined
- Mar 15, 2005
- Online Cricket Games Owned
Will end the voting in precisely 30 minutes, current standings:
8 - Mark Nicholas
5 - Kachra from Lagaan
3 - George W. Bush
2 - Tiger Woods
Last chance to save Kachra from elimination. Sadly, Mark Nicholas is looking very much in danger of an early elimination.
8 - Mark Nicholas
5 - Kachra from Lagaan
3 - George W. Bush
2 - Tiger Woods
Last chance to save Kachra from elimination. Sadly, Mark Nicholas is looking very much in danger of an early elimination.
tassietiger
International Cricketer
- Joined
- Mar 15, 2005
- Online Cricket Games Owned
NICHOLAS AND KACHRA FROM LAGAAN COP THE AXE
?KACHRA FROM LAGAAN WILL BE SORELY MISSED?
After the first round of the Famous XI?s world tour, Mark Nicholas and Kachra from Lagaan have been voted out of the team, amidst many conspiracy theories. One is that the voters have a problem with players who have cricketing experience, as Mark Nicholas and Kachra from Lagaan had both played cricket before. Another theory is that the voters just hate the Famous XI, as they voted off the bowlers with the best averages, economy rates and equal best strike rates in the team. Another theory is that Mark Nicholas deserved to be voted off because he was a tool, and Kachra from Lagaan was just a little unlucky.
Famous XI captain Charlie Sheen had this to say. ?Kachra from Lagaan will be sorely missed, he was a star spin bowler and his departure will put a lot more pressure on my own spin bowling unless there is a similarly talented recruit. What will hurt more is that Kachra is a fantastic wingman. With his physical disability, chicks feel sorry for him, and I can use him as bait ? not that I need it, I?m basically a sex magnet around here. Not that keen to go to New Zealand, given my success rate here to be honest.?
As two players leave the team, two new introductions are made. They are as follows:
The newly inaugurated President of the United States of America has been inducted into the team, filling the enormous shoes of Kachra from Lagaan. (He wasn?t that important a player really, he just had really big shoes. They didn?t really fit him that well, as his feet were just normal.) He is more of an all-rounder than Kachra from Lagaan, as his political prowess has given him the gift of being able to play a straight bat to all sorts of curly questions, and also, more importantly, how to spin **** to win voters. He isn?t the prodigious talent that Kachra from Lagaan was with the ball, but I trust that you all knew what you were doing when you voted him out, and Obama?s all-round ability will help more for the New Zealand game and beyond.
The most hated player of the team has been replaced by one of the world?s most loved cartoon characters in Homer Simpson, quite a remarkable shift in opinions of the team?s batting all-rounder. Unlike Mark, Homer is a power-hitter, probably lacking the precision that comes from having an IQ in the double figures. His fielding is very sharp, except he lacks a lot of pace in the field, something that comes from weighing more than a small elephant. When asked what he bowled, he looked through the list supplied to him by Codemasters, the officiators of this tournament, and decided Googly sounded the best, despite it not really being a bowling style that I am aware of. How that pans out should be interesting, especially considering he is not much of a bowler, and will only get an over as all of the other options are extremely rubbish.
?KACHRA FROM LAGAAN WILL BE SORELY MISSED?
After the first round of the Famous XI?s world tour, Mark Nicholas and Kachra from Lagaan have been voted out of the team, amidst many conspiracy theories. One is that the voters have a problem with players who have cricketing experience, as Mark Nicholas and Kachra from Lagaan had both played cricket before. Another theory is that the voters just hate the Famous XI, as they voted off the bowlers with the best averages, economy rates and equal best strike rates in the team. Another theory is that Mark Nicholas deserved to be voted off because he was a tool, and Kachra from Lagaan was just a little unlucky.
Famous XI captain Charlie Sheen had this to say. ?Kachra from Lagaan will be sorely missed, he was a star spin bowler and his departure will put a lot more pressure on my own spin bowling unless there is a similarly talented recruit. What will hurt more is that Kachra is a fantastic wingman. With his physical disability, chicks feel sorry for him, and I can use him as bait ? not that I need it, I?m basically a sex magnet around here. Not that keen to go to New Zealand, given my success rate here to be honest.?
As two players leave the team, two new introductions are made. They are as follows:
The newly inaugurated President of the United States of America has been inducted into the team, filling the enormous shoes of Kachra from Lagaan. (He wasn?t that important a player really, he just had really big shoes. They didn?t really fit him that well, as his feet were just normal.) He is more of an all-rounder than Kachra from Lagaan, as his political prowess has given him the gift of being able to play a straight bat to all sorts of curly questions, and also, more importantly, how to spin **** to win voters. He isn?t the prodigious talent that Kachra from Lagaan was with the ball, but I trust that you all knew what you were doing when you voted him out, and Obama?s all-round ability will help more for the New Zealand game and beyond.
The most hated player of the team has been replaced by one of the world?s most loved cartoon characters in Homer Simpson, quite a remarkable shift in opinions of the team?s batting all-rounder. Unlike Mark, Homer is a power-hitter, probably lacking the precision that comes from having an IQ in the double figures. His fielding is very sharp, except he lacks a lot of pace in the field, something that comes from weighing more than a small elephant. When asked what he bowled, he looked through the list supplied to him by Codemasters, the officiators of this tournament, and decided Googly sounded the best, despite it not really being a bowling style that I am aware of. How that pans out should be interesting, especially considering he is not much of a bowler, and will only get an over as all of the other options are extremely rubbish.
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