Story Famous XI?s six6 World Tour, NZ game complete - VOTE AND YOU'LL HAVE MORE FRIENDS
- Thread starter tassietiger
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tassietiger
International Cricketer
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You can give 3-2-1 votes rather than just 2-1 if you want. I'll take those two unless you want to change it, it's not as if I'm having overwhelming interest at the moment
tassietiger
International Cricketer
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Once again,1. John Lennon - Was very poor with the bat, from both matches
2. Tiger Woods - stay with golf Tiger, stay with golf
3 votes: Most hated player
2 votes: Second-most hated player
1 vote: Third-most hated player
innes
Club Cricketer
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You can give 3-2 -1 votes rather than just 2-1 if you want. I'll take those two unless you want to change it, it's not as if I'm having overwhelming interest at the moment
Sorry, it will go like this then:
1) Clark Kent
2) John Lennon
3) Tiger Woods
Xuzuno
Club Cricketer
Nice story, keep it up
However, you should bring in Albert Einstein! He'll use his brain to calculate every delivery and smash it for six
However, you should bring in Albert Einstein! He'll use his brain to calculate every delivery and smash it for six
Last edited:
tassietiger
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Well, due to the massive influx of votes I'm not sure if I've calculated the votes correctly, but hopefully I got close enough to being right. Looks like Tiger and Lennon are out. Will post some rubbish explaining it and introducing new players shortly. In the future I'll try and think up players ahead of time, brainstorming time commencing now.
tassietiger
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LENNON AND WOODS OUSTED
VOTERS ACCUSED OF ?DOUBLE-LETTERISM?
In a move that clearly smacks of discrimination against people with double letters in their surnames, the people have voted, and English rock and roll great John Lennon and decent golfer (although if I had a round with him he would probably be handed a flogging) Tiger Woods have been eliminated from the Famous XI for their upcoming battle against Sri Lanka.
Lennon?s opening partner Isaac Newton had this to say. ?He was always a jealous guy around me, thought he could beat me in the mind games, acted like a god. Well, the war is over now, instant karma has gotten you, you?ll have to go cold turkey from cricket now. Say what you like about me, whatever gets you through the night, but I?ve outlasted you here.? Interestingly, Newton was said to not even realise that he included seven John Lennon songs in this little spiel. ?As for Tiger Woods, he could hit the ball a fair way, but he wasn?t hard to rough up. I think he was a little green with envy as well. We had to iron out the flaws, and on our contribution pie chart, his wedge wasn?t big enough. He wouldn?t come out, preferred to have tea in bed.?
Some pretty bad jokes there, sorry everyone, blame Isaac Newton, not me.
At the same convenient press conference, the two new players in the Famous XI have been announced:
Replacing John Lennon as the Famous XI?s opener should be a big task, but this guy has taken on bigger jobs before. Although his legal skills probably won?t be required on the field, they will become useful in bailing team captain Charlie Sheen from his inevitable Sri Lankan escapades. It is more his leadership skills which will be used by the Famous XI. Typically, he volunteered to join the team and face the first ball, being the way he tends to go about things. Despite not being given the captaincy tag in the team, Gandhi was happy with the way things were going to be, aiming to become the team?s spiritual leader, as he had done with India all of those years ago. Charlie Sheen, the team?s official leader, was said to be cool with it, and even offered Gandhi the option of changing all of the bowlers and the fields and determining the batting order. Essentially, Charlie is in it for the talking point that can lead to intercourse with a woman. Nevertheless, Gandhi should prove a handy inclusion.
Taking Tiger Woods? all-rounder position in the team, flamboyant poofter Elton John has said goodbye to the yellow brick road, where the dogs of society howl, and hello to the yellow dusty roads that will no doubt be prepared for the Sri Lankan six6 match. He is often a 1/7 prospect with the bat, as he throws his wickets away a lot except when the game is on a Saturday, a night he has deemed alright for fighting. With the ball, he is in his element, as being a man who has in his life married both a woman and a man, it?s only logical that he can get a cricket ball to swing both ways, considering it is the way he has lived his life. In the field, you wouldn?t want to run a cheeky single on his arm, he?s a real rocket man in the field.
tassietiger added 5 Minutes and 37 Seconds later...
You were too late, but I'll add your votes in anyway. Same two are still eliminated, thanks for voting! I'll put them on my list on the first post, if you've noticed I bring in one suggested player and one that I pull out of my arse each round.
VOTERS ACCUSED OF ?DOUBLE-LETTERISM?
In a move that clearly smacks of discrimination against people with double letters in their surnames, the people have voted, and English rock and roll great John Lennon and decent golfer (although if I had a round with him he would probably be handed a flogging) Tiger Woods have been eliminated from the Famous XI for their upcoming battle against Sri Lanka.
Lennon?s opening partner Isaac Newton had this to say. ?He was always a jealous guy around me, thought he could beat me in the mind games, acted like a god. Well, the war is over now, instant karma has gotten you, you?ll have to go cold turkey from cricket now. Say what you like about me, whatever gets you through the night, but I?ve outlasted you here.? Interestingly, Newton was said to not even realise that he included seven John Lennon songs in this little spiel. ?As for Tiger Woods, he could hit the ball a fair way, but he wasn?t hard to rough up. I think he was a little green with envy as well. We had to iron out the flaws, and on our contribution pie chart, his wedge wasn?t big enough. He wouldn?t come out, preferred to have tea in bed.?
Some pretty bad jokes there, sorry everyone, blame Isaac Newton, not me.
At the same convenient press conference, the two new players in the Famous XI have been announced:
Replacing John Lennon as the Famous XI?s opener should be a big task, but this guy has taken on bigger jobs before. Although his legal skills probably won?t be required on the field, they will become useful in bailing team captain Charlie Sheen from his inevitable Sri Lankan escapades. It is more his leadership skills which will be used by the Famous XI. Typically, he volunteered to join the team and face the first ball, being the way he tends to go about things. Despite not being given the captaincy tag in the team, Gandhi was happy with the way things were going to be, aiming to become the team?s spiritual leader, as he had done with India all of those years ago. Charlie Sheen, the team?s official leader, was said to be cool with it, and even offered Gandhi the option of changing all of the bowlers and the fields and determining the batting order. Essentially, Charlie is in it for the talking point that can lead to intercourse with a woman. Nevertheless, Gandhi should prove a handy inclusion.
Taking Tiger Woods? all-rounder position in the team, flamboyant poofter Elton John has said goodbye to the yellow brick road, where the dogs of society howl, and hello to the yellow dusty roads that will no doubt be prepared for the Sri Lankan six6 match. He is often a 1/7 prospect with the bat, as he throws his wickets away a lot except when the game is on a Saturday, a night he has deemed alright for fighting. With the ball, he is in his element, as being a man who has in his life married both a woman and a man, it?s only logical that he can get a cricket ball to swing both ways, considering it is the way he has lived his life. In the field, you wouldn?t want to run a cheeky single on his arm, he?s a real rocket man in the field.
tassietiger added 5 Minutes and 37 Seconds later...
You were too late, but I'll add your votes in anyway. Same two are still eliminated, thanks for voting! I'll put them on my list on the first post, if you've noticed I bring in one suggested player and one that I pull out of my arse each round.
smssia0112
Chairman of Selectors
- Joined
- Jul 15, 2005
Great work tassie once again. I love the pictures too, especially the one you put under a helmet!
Since we're not allowed women in, how about Amelie Mauresmo? That guy is very talented at tennis, wouldn't be too bad at cricket either I'd imagine.
Since we're not allowed women in, how about Amelie Mauresmo? That guy is very talented at tennis, wouldn't be too bad at cricket either I'd imagine.
tassietiger
International Cricketer
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The helmet was an effort I won't match again. Way, way too much work and it didn't even look that convincing. Mauresmo may make an appearance, depends whether or not it makes Charlie Sheen feel less manly.
tassietiger
International Cricketer
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- Mar 15, 2005
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SRI LANKA vs. FAMOUS XI @ COLOMBO, SRI LANKA
Game 3 (two if you count the legal games) of the 9-match Famous XI?s tour, and the Famous XI enter the game with the rare objective to turn around their lacklustre form. Historically, the Famous XI have never lost a game before their devastating one-run loss to New Zealand, but, given that they have only played three games in total and were on steroids for one of those, and I can?t even remember if the other one finished, their record isn?t quite what it is cracked up to be. With John Lennon and Tiger Woods replaced from the side by Indian spiritual leader Mahatma Gandhi and rock and roll piano legend Elton John, the team was sure to be strengthened, as it seems voters have finally decided to vote out underperforming players rather than the best players.
One man desperate to turn around his form was Charlie Sheen. He lost the toss last time, quite a terrible effort considering how big a tosser he is often perceived to be. He also has never won a toss without steroids, which I?m sure is a big factor in tossing.
Luckily, the man has gotten his old tossing ways back, and he has won one for a change. As it is a method yet to be tried, Charlie elected to bat first, to see what sort of a target the Famous XI could set against the Lankans.
Despite Bill Lawry?s pre-innings assertion that there is only one place to be at the moment, and that is batting, 9 Sri Lankan fielders, one wicketkeeper and Chaminda Vaas took the field without bats, and the game commenced. Gandhi, facing his first ball, played a confident airy flick off his pads to the deep square leg, getting the historically helpful Isaac Newton on strike. In this case however, Newton, instead of coming up with three laws of motion, came up with three average balls without motion. In these three balls he scored no runs, and managed to get out while doing so. This brought William Shakespeare to the crease, and he got the Famous XI back on track a bit, hitting a two and a three to take the team score up to 1/6 off the first over.
The next over from Maharoof was entertaining, to say the least. First ball, Shakespeare decided to have a crack at the large gap at mid-on, attempting a big shot that only went as far as the bowler. As the batsmen didn?t really think it was going to be stopped, they had already set off on a run, before turning back all too late. This was the end of Gandhi, out for a run-a-ball 1. The next ball, Shakespeare could still see that gap, and had yet another go at it. This time it was even less successful for him, edging it to the keeper, who took another early catch. With two new batsmen at the crease, and the Famous XI at 3/6 off 1.2, Sri Lanka looked to be well on top. The two batsmen did all they could to change that though, Homer hitting his first ball for three, including an overthrow that could only be described as Codemasterish. Then Jimi Hendrix hit a four on the leg side, followed by a return catch which was put down by Maharoof, and Homer rounded out the over with a play and miss. 3/14 off 2.
Dilhara Fernando came on to bowl the third over, and Jimi and Homer continued their sensible ways. With only one dot ball in the over, there wasn?t much to complain about here. Homer managed two glorious fours, one a cover drive that pierced the gap perfectly, another a straight drive that also picked a massive gap. Despite the fact that this massive gap was where the slips cordon used to be, it was still quite a well-placed shot anyway. The Famous XI move along to a slightly more acceptable 3/25 off 3.
As the Famous XI have responded respectably to all challenges thrown their way, it was expected that they wouldn?t have too much trouble with spinning wizard Muthiah Muralidaran. As it turned out, he was quite a tidy bowler, which was quite a surprise, as you would expect a bunch of amateurs to have no trouble smashing the best spin bowler in the world out of the park. Anyway, there were six runs off the over, including a couple of very nice shots sadly stopped by deep fielders, but the Famous XI were left needing to accelerate desperately. 3/31 off 4.
Lasith Malinga was on to bowl the next over, and he also kept it frustratingly tight for the visitors. Hendrix and Simpson tried all of the shots they could dream up, but without steroids, it seemed that they couldn?t get the ball off the square. They still managed to pick up the odd one or two, but it will be a hard total to defend if they don?t have a big last over. The Famous XI crawl along to 3/36 off 5.
Once again, the bowlers couldn?t do much with Upul Tharanga?s bowling, continually attempting big shots but not having them come off. The best shot was Jimi Hendrix?s flick off the pads for three, but other than that, the best thing that happened for the Famous XI was Homer getting out LBW, as he wasted his fair share of balls. Elton John came to the crease, but sadly wasn?t much better, being given a bouncer that was later called a no-ball, but not managing to get any bat on it. The next ball he hit straight back to the bowler, and they ran it anyway, just making it due to Elton?s textbook bat-sliding technique. The final score was 3/42 off 6, despite Brian Lara?s Cricket telling me that it was actually 8 overs. I think I would know.
What was the more frustrating thing here, not being able to accelerate, or the fact that Mike Hussey was struggling to accelerate at the same point I?m typing this? Hopefully by the time I?ve posted this Hussey has slapped many, many sixes and won us the game. Hopefully I will also win this game. If curiosity gets the better of you, don?t forget, PM me and I?ll spoil it for you quite readily.
Game 3 (two if you count the legal games) of the 9-match Famous XI?s tour, and the Famous XI enter the game with the rare objective to turn around their lacklustre form. Historically, the Famous XI have never lost a game before their devastating one-run loss to New Zealand, but, given that they have only played three games in total and were on steroids for one of those, and I can?t even remember if the other one finished, their record isn?t quite what it is cracked up to be. With John Lennon and Tiger Woods replaced from the side by Indian spiritual leader Mahatma Gandhi and rock and roll piano legend Elton John, the team was sure to be strengthened, as it seems voters have finally decided to vote out underperforming players rather than the best players.
One man desperate to turn around his form was Charlie Sheen. He lost the toss last time, quite a terrible effort considering how big a tosser he is often perceived to be. He also has never won a toss without steroids, which I?m sure is a big factor in tossing.
Luckily, the man has gotten his old tossing ways back, and he has won one for a change. As it is a method yet to be tried, Charlie elected to bat first, to see what sort of a target the Famous XI could set against the Lankans.
Despite Bill Lawry?s pre-innings assertion that there is only one place to be at the moment, and that is batting, 9 Sri Lankan fielders, one wicketkeeper and Chaminda Vaas took the field without bats, and the game commenced. Gandhi, facing his first ball, played a confident airy flick off his pads to the deep square leg, getting the historically helpful Isaac Newton on strike. In this case however, Newton, instead of coming up with three laws of motion, came up with three average balls without motion. In these three balls he scored no runs, and managed to get out while doing so. This brought William Shakespeare to the crease, and he got the Famous XI back on track a bit, hitting a two and a three to take the team score up to 1/6 off the first over.
The next over from Maharoof was entertaining, to say the least. First ball, Shakespeare decided to have a crack at the large gap at mid-on, attempting a big shot that only went as far as the bowler. As the batsmen didn?t really think it was going to be stopped, they had already set off on a run, before turning back all too late. This was the end of Gandhi, out for a run-a-ball 1. The next ball, Shakespeare could still see that gap, and had yet another go at it. This time it was even less successful for him, edging it to the keeper, who took another early catch. With two new batsmen at the crease, and the Famous XI at 3/6 off 1.2, Sri Lanka looked to be well on top. The two batsmen did all they could to change that though, Homer hitting his first ball for three, including an overthrow that could only be described as Codemasterish. Then Jimi Hendrix hit a four on the leg side, followed by a return catch which was put down by Maharoof, and Homer rounded out the over with a play and miss. 3/14 off 2.
Dilhara Fernando came on to bowl the third over, and Jimi and Homer continued their sensible ways. With only one dot ball in the over, there wasn?t much to complain about here. Homer managed two glorious fours, one a cover drive that pierced the gap perfectly, another a straight drive that also picked a massive gap. Despite the fact that this massive gap was where the slips cordon used to be, it was still quite a well-placed shot anyway. The Famous XI move along to a slightly more acceptable 3/25 off 3.
As the Famous XI have responded respectably to all challenges thrown their way, it was expected that they wouldn?t have too much trouble with spinning wizard Muthiah Muralidaran. As it turned out, he was quite a tidy bowler, which was quite a surprise, as you would expect a bunch of amateurs to have no trouble smashing the best spin bowler in the world out of the park. Anyway, there were six runs off the over, including a couple of very nice shots sadly stopped by deep fielders, but the Famous XI were left needing to accelerate desperately. 3/31 off 4.
Lasith Malinga was on to bowl the next over, and he also kept it frustratingly tight for the visitors. Hendrix and Simpson tried all of the shots they could dream up, but without steroids, it seemed that they couldn?t get the ball off the square. They still managed to pick up the odd one or two, but it will be a hard total to defend if they don?t have a big last over. The Famous XI crawl along to 3/36 off 5.
Once again, the bowlers couldn?t do much with Upul Tharanga?s bowling, continually attempting big shots but not having them come off. The best shot was Jimi Hendrix?s flick off the pads for three, but other than that, the best thing that happened for the Famous XI was Homer getting out LBW, as he wasted his fair share of balls. Elton John came to the crease, but sadly wasn?t much better, being given a bouncer that was later called a no-ball, but not managing to get any bat on it. The next ball he hit straight back to the bowler, and they ran it anyway, just making it due to Elton?s textbook bat-sliding technique. The final score was 3/42 off 6, despite Brian Lara?s Cricket telling me that it was actually 8 overs. I think I would know.
Code:
Famous XI Innings
M. Gandhi run out 1 (1)
I. Newton c Sengekkoro b Vees 0 (3)
W. Shakespeare c Sengekkoro b Miheraaf 5 (4)
J. Hendrix not out 16 (12)
H. Simpson LBW b Thurinanga 17 (15)
E. John not out 0 (2)
Extras 3
Overs 6 (8.0 apparently though)
Total 42 / 4
Bowler Overs Runs Wickets
U. Thurinanga 1 6 1
F. Miheraaf 1 8 1
C. Vees 1 6 1
L. Molengo 1 4 0
M. Merelitherin 1 6 0
D. Firnende 1 11 0What was the more frustrating thing here, not being able to accelerate, or the fact that Mike Hussey was struggling to accelerate at the same point I?m typing this? Hopefully by the time I?ve posted this Hussey has slapped many, many sixes and won us the game. Hopefully I will also win this game. If curiosity gets the better of you, don?t forget, PM me and I?ll spoil it for you quite readily.
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