D
Dutch
Guest
Cook bitterly, bitterly disappointed:
Alistair Cook revealed there had been harsh words spoken in the Lunatics changing room after players like Wood and Bruce and even Ali let the team down desperately by nearly winning their match.
"We take no pride whatsoever in our cricket or our shiteness and it is really disappointing to see guys coming out and trying to win stuff. Bruce has been a burden on the whole team by getting runs. Luckily my own shiteness compensated for a lot of his runs but we were sweating on the dressing room balcony smoking fags and stuffing KFC down our fat gobs when Ali still looked like he could win the game on the last ball. Thankfully he is the twat that we know so well and got out. Some of the players will need to sort themselves out: they have joined this team because they are the worst, the abject bottom of the pit dregs of anything remotely akin to competitive cricket and a few selfish people nearly blew it. Even the sullen melancholy of the loss can't compensate for how angry I am."
For viewers who have trouble identifying Cook's spectrum of emotions we have printed this handy chart:
Cook Angry
Cook sexually aroused
Cook wondering whats for dinner
Cook exhilarated
More soon.
Alistair Cook revealed there had been harsh words spoken in the Lunatics changing room after players like Wood and Bruce and even Ali let the team down desperately by nearly winning their match.
"We take no pride whatsoever in our cricket or our shiteness and it is really disappointing to see guys coming out and trying to win stuff. Bruce has been a burden on the whole team by getting runs. Luckily my own shiteness compensated for a lot of his runs but we were sweating on the dressing room balcony smoking fags and stuffing KFC down our fat gobs when Ali still looked like he could win the game on the last ball. Thankfully he is the twat that we know so well and got out. Some of the players will need to sort themselves out: they have joined this team because they are the worst, the abject bottom of the pit dregs of anything remotely akin to competitive cricket and a few selfish people nearly blew it. Even the sullen melancholy of the loss can't compensate for how angry I am."
For viewers who have trouble identifying Cook's spectrum of emotions we have printed this handy chart:
Cook Angry
Cook sexually aroused
Cook wondering whats for dinner
Cook exhilarated
More soon.
