timchrist984
Club Captain
- Joined
- Jan 27, 2011

Pushing Through The Pain: A Tasmanian's Diary

Friday, 1st October 2011
Hi, I'm Tim Paine! It's scary to think that just 8 months ago (January 2011) I was keeping for my country in those beautiful colours of green and gold. As you may know, so much has happened since then. I've failed a drug test, broken my legs in a car accident and seen my brother killed by a terrorist in my own backyard.
For as long as I can remember, cricket has been my refuge. Whenever I have been angry or upset, I've had cricket to turn to. Hopefully I can use cricket to get my life back together now.
This summer, I will be captaining the Hobart Hurricanes in the inaugural T20 Big Bash League competition. I will be looking to impress the national selectors by having a good season playing for the mighty tigers. As an outsider looking in, this may look like an exciting time in my life.
However, I am still recovering from my injuries, both physically and emotionally. I still dream of that night when my brother's murderer shot him through the head in cold blood. So often I cry myself to sleep, thinking about the blood seeping from his head. I am clearly not in a good mental place.
It seems so unfair that I am expected to perform on the cricket field, when I can't even sleep at night. I sometimes wonder if I am still good enough. Whether I still have the reflexes, whether I still have co-ordination, whether I still have courage to keep going, whether I still have the determination to win, whether I still have the will to play.
I have to admit the that Cricket Tasmania has not helped me at all. After I failed their drug test in March, I received a $10,000 fine from them. After I broke my legs, I received a letter asking whether I'd still be able to play during the 2011-12 season. It was only a week ago when I the CEO called me to try and get me to help with a Tasmanian Tigers promotion campaign.
This just reminded me that cricket was becoming more than just the game I loved. It was becoming a business. It is clear that cricket is no longer about the players. It is about the greedy governing bodies that try and squeeze out every last cent from those who want to support the game.
So, I have decided the best way to deal with my pain is to let it out, to share it. This will take place in the form of a diary. This is my story. My story of pushing through the pain.
For as long as I can remember, cricket has been my refuge. Whenever I have been angry or upset, I've had cricket to turn to. Hopefully I can use cricket to get my life back together now.
This summer, I will be captaining the Hobart Hurricanes in the inaugural T20 Big Bash League competition. I will be looking to impress the national selectors by having a good season playing for the mighty tigers. As an outsider looking in, this may look like an exciting time in my life.
However, I am still recovering from my injuries, both physically and emotionally. I still dream of that night when my brother's murderer shot him through the head in cold blood. So often I cry myself to sleep, thinking about the blood seeping from his head. I am clearly not in a good mental place.
It seems so unfair that I am expected to perform on the cricket field, when I can't even sleep at night. I sometimes wonder if I am still good enough. Whether I still have the reflexes, whether I still have co-ordination, whether I still have courage to keep going, whether I still have the determination to win, whether I still have the will to play.
I have to admit the that Cricket Tasmania has not helped me at all. After I failed their drug test in March, I received a $10,000 fine from them. After I broke my legs, I received a letter asking whether I'd still be able to play during the 2011-12 season. It was only a week ago when I the CEO called me to try and get me to help with a Tasmanian Tigers promotion campaign.
This just reminded me that cricket was becoming more than just the game I loved. It was becoming a business. It is clear that cricket is no longer about the players. It is about the greedy governing bodies that try and squeeze out every last cent from those who want to support the game.
So, I have decided the best way to deal with my pain is to let it out, to share it. This will take place in the form of a diary. This is my story. My story of pushing through the pain.

NB: Credits to Chewie for the Cricket Tasmania template
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