The Jokes Thread

Is wittiest/funniest answer competition a good idea?


  • Total voters
    16
  • Poll closed .
Heard on the radio:

Most drugged up football team in the world?
Leeds-2 E's and an LSD
 
never mind KX...and congrats on your achivement...lol...

Little Johnny came running into the house and asked, "Mommy, can little girls have babies?"
"No," said his mom, "Of course not."
Little Johnny then ran back outside and his mom heard him yell to his friends, "It's okay, we can play that game again!"

Wife : Do you want dinner?
Husband:Sure, what are my choices?
Wife :Yes and no.

Paddy and his missus are lying in bed listening to the next door neighbor's dog barking.
It had been barking for hours and hours.
Suddenly, Paddy jumps out of bed and says, "I've had enough of this," and goes downstairs.
Paddy finally comes back up to bed and his wife says, "The dog is still barking. What have you been doing?"
Paddy says, "I've put their dog in our yard - now we'll see how THEY like it!"

"How was your blind date?" a college student asked her roommate.
"Terrible!" the roommate answered. "He showed! up in his 1932 Rolls Royce."
"Wow! That's a very expensive car. What's so bad about that?"
"He was the original owner."

LOL...i hope you get these...
 
A man went to take report card of his son to school. Heres the conversation between him and the teacher.

Man: Mam when will you give?
Teacher: When the periods are over.
 
Father to daughter: Tell me the name of the man who made you pregnant!

Daughter to Father: Dad...if you eat 15 bananas, will you know which made you fat??
 
A man walks into a bar

Ouch


There a much more environmentally friendly joke than your anti-polar bear jibes.
 
Once there was a hippy who decided to grow his hair.
One day, he was walking along a cliff, admiring mother nature, when he tripped on his hair, fell over the cliffside onto a rock ad got washed away to sea, never to bother us again.
 
FBI: Why criminals leave their fingerprint after their work?
Sardar: Sir,I Think,they are un-educated,if they were educated,they would leave their signature for you..

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Sardar attended bio practical exam.
Examiner: Tell the bird name by seeing leg.
Sardar: I dont know. Examiner: u fail.
Whats ur name ?
Sardar:See my leg & tell

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Sardar goes 2 a petrol pump sees a board "dont use Mobile here"
Sardar picks his mobile, calls evryone from his phone n says "DONT CALL ME NOW"

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Teacher asks question to sardar, "Which is the big animal, Ant or Elephant ?
Sardar : First tell me the date of birth of those animals....

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Sardar declares:
I will never marry in my life....
I'll give same advice to
my children also!!!
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