Story Famous XI?s six6 World Tour, NZ game complete - VOTE AND YOU'LL HAVE MORE FRIENDS

[tassietiger]

Due to twenty20s being dubbed by the cricketing public ‘boring’ and too slow-paced, the ICC has acted quickly, and shortened the game to a six over-a-side game. This is due to the common thought that overs 4-17 are boring, and people only really turn up to watch the overs 1-3 and 18-20. This condensed version, six6, still has the usual 10-wicket rules, but each bowler may only bowl one over.

Another general complaint from the cricketing public is that they are sick of seeing cricketers play cricket. They want to see useless players play instead. Despite the ICC’s attempt to advertise the current Zimbabwe tour of Bangladesh as an avenue to satisfy this hunger, this complaint has not gone away. So the ICC decided to bring back an old concept which died very shortly after it started almost two years ago, the Famous XI. This is a team of celebrities who take on international teams, and despite mostly being cricket newcomers, they tend to do surprisingly well, and you can hardly tell that they are a bunch of duds.

The issues of the last outing of the Famous XI have been addressed, the largest one being the fact that not even one game got finished. Obviously the shortening to six6 matches should help the continuing of this series, but no guarantees can ever be made. Also the old games looked very EA-like, and the new ones are expected to look more Codemasters-like, not suggesting the games aren’t real as that blows my cover, but they will look more Codemasters-like just to change it up a bit. (to be honest, both were uninstalled from my computer to free up space, and I just re-installed the nearest one which turned out to be BLIC)

The way it will work, is that I will pick the initial XI to play the first game, and that will be posted after this. (no players from the old team, didn’t want to recycle material) Once I have posted the whole team, the reader interaction comes in and this gets a lot more fun (when I say fun I mean boring for me, as I have to count up votes). As the game is going and for a little while after the game, there will be voting, on a 3-2-1 thing, of who should get the axe from the team. Also, preferably, you will nominate one or two people you think should enter the team. There should be two places in the team changing each game, might only be one if there is only one good suggestion for a new player, or a five-way tie for second place in the voting. Don’t suggest women to join the team, I’m letting dead people in the team, but I think letting women in the team is stretching reality a bit too much.

THE CURRENT TEAM:
1. Mahatma Gandhi
2. Isaac Newton
3. William Shakespeare
4. Jimi Hendrix
5. Homer Simpson
6. Elton John
7. George W. Bush
8. Barack Obama
9. Charlie Sheen
10. Clark Kent
11. Bruce Willis

SUGGESTIONS FOR NEW PLAYERS (suggest as many as possible): Bruce Wayne, Stephen Hawking, Dexter Morgan, Detective John Munch, Albert Einstein, Ryan Seacrest

ELIMINATED HACKS: Mark Nicholas, Kachra from Lagaan, Tiger Woods, John Lennon

 

[Highlander999]

Oh go on. Let Maggie Thatcher be involved

 

[tassietiger]

In probable batting order, the first three players of the Famous XI have been named.

Always wanting to be the frontman, the Liverpool guitarist/pianist/singer/probably other thingsist as well has decided to try his hand at cricket. When offering his services to the team they were worried that there might be disharmony within the team if he was in it, but as soon as he said he wasn?t bringing Yoko to trainings they said the spot was his. As he did in his songwriting partnership with Sir Paul, he brings the hard edge to the opening partnership, and is content with clubbing the ball in ungainly fashion if it brings runs. Has made the team nervous due to quite often singing ?Ishant Sharma?s gonna get you? or something along those lines, so will definitely be facing the first ball when the Indian match comes along, provided he is still in the team.

Isaac?s knowledge of the world of Physics has never really carried over to his general co-ordination level, sports not being his strong point. However, as someone who has spent his life studying collisions, general motion and so on, he has developed quite a knack for figuring out the correct angling of the bat to hit the ball at certain desired speeds and trajectories. In other words, he goes pretty well with the bat. In the field he isn?t the worst going around, but is best used as an out-fielder, as his judgement of the ball is his strength, rather than his hippopotamus-like reflexes.

One of the only two experienced cricketers within the team, Mark has a large role to play in carrying the team. Being an over-excited tool in the commentary box isn?t surprising if you?ve seen him play cricket. If he ever hits a nice shot, he is known to say ?Mark Nicholas is a special, special batsman!? When he hits a six, no crowd will go wild enough to drown out the sound of Nicholas going ?MAXIMUM!? Without wanting to have any bearing on the voting in and out of players, as it is supposed to be a reader-based thing, I think this man is a tool and if he was voted out then I wouldn?t be too disappointed. I got all of his cricketing details from Wikipedia, turns out he was a decent batsman who bowled occasionally. Learn something new every day.

 

[Dr. Pepper]

Haha loving this already.

 

[Jaztheman]

This has the potential to be quality. Great works already, Tassie, looking forward to seeing some strange choices.

 

[Ollie_H]

Can we have Obama in here?

 

[Roofrom50]

haha quality first post mate, looking forward to the rest of the team to be announced

 

[Left_Hander]

Very funny first post and I enjoyed the Mark Nicholas part . This is going to be the usual tassietiger humour we love

 

[tassietiger]

William approaches a dodgy pitch and it speaks to him, ?Do you think I am easier to be played on than a pipe?? He responds, ?As good luck would have it, it may moveth early but paradise is here for the willow wielders.? While I don?t plan to keep up actual Shakespeare references, as I don?t really know my stuff, that was pretty impressive googling in my opinion. He has all of the textbook strokes you could imagine, unsurprising considering anything he does ends up in textbooks. He doesn?t often talk to the rest of the team, given they don?t understand his language. Quite an unusual case, really, considering all of the players I?ve mentioned so far have been from the same country as him. Similarly to his quick wit, he is quick in the field, and can throw the ball in at a sharp speed.

This guy doesn?t need much explanation. Always cool and composed, but at the same time awesome. Carved his cricket bat out of his own wood stock. Has amazing timing, and perfect reflexes. Suspect throw, but who needs a good one when you can just hang around in slips and be cool all day.

Tiger has adapted to cricket quite well, so much so that he has become quite proficient in batting and bowling. When batting, he has the most powerful drive of the team, although he has a slightly different idea of what a drive is. He can also tap the ball into any gap using his putting skills. When he is bowling, considering all of the work he has done over the years on his swing, he can give the batsmen headaches. Could be a better fielder, but you can?t get greedy in life, the 14 major championships in golf just make up for the lack of fielding ability in cricket.

Fair to say the poor guy hasn?t got much to do now. With Obama stealing his job from him, it was either going from school to school as a motivational speaker or play in this celebrity cricket team. As he isn?t the greatest of speakers, he chose the cricket. But when George W. has the gloves on he is a different man to the one that you see with a microphone. He never fumbles, is always clean and sharp to get a stumping behind the stumps. When he?s batting, his bat becomes a weapon of mass destruction, although as quite often is the way with Bush, a lot of the time he struggles to find the weapon of mass destruction, and by that stage the ball has come crashing into his stumps.

 

[shantanu_rooney]

Haha Shakesphere, Woods and Bush in the team..Looks entertaining.

 

[tassietiger]

The Two and a Half Men star has spent a long time putting a sexual spin on every sentence which can possibly be said using the English language, so putting spin on a cricket ball should be no problem for him. If he can get through batsmen?s gates in the way he can get through a woman?s, well, gates, he should be a prolific wicket-taker for the Famous XI. He also is a useful batsman, having plenty of experience with handling wood.

Clark ?Superman? Kent is an unsurprising asset to the team, as several bowlers can claim to have broken a hundred miles an hour, but he can claim to be faster than a speeding bullet, and that is a reasonable amount quicker. His strength with the bat will obviously be useful, but his power isn?t really matched by timing, as it was his awful timing that kept on messing up his chances with Lois, and considering the fact she was hot, he should really have worked on this area more. He can also beat any fieldsman?s arm, as even if he is up against a bullet arm, he is still quicker.

The other new ball bowler is bruising Bruce Willis, a man willing to get a team all out retired hurt without guilt in regards to the spirit of cricket. He likes to end each game with half of his face and two thirds of his neck covered in blood, how that so regularly happens I don?t know. He has a sixth sense that helps him detect when the batsman is terrified of him. Like his fellow opening bowler, with the bat he is all power, and the other skills aren?t really there.

The other experienced cricketer along with Mark Nicholas, Kachra became famous when the movie Lagaan came out as a spin bowler with a dodgy arm. He was the inspiration to arguably the world?s best spin bowler in Muthiah Muralidaran, who has a similar bend in his elbow rather than his wrist while bowling. Kachra?s batting since Lagaan has not improved. He is still a dud in all facets of batting.

tassietiger added 7 Minutes and 34 Seconds later...

As the whole team has now been named, you may vote on who gets the boot first if you wish.

I would say you are going to vote out the worst cricketers, but really, you'll vote out whichever celebrities you hate, let's not pretend here.

3: Most hated player
2: Second-most hated player
1: Third-most hated player

Rather simple system really.

 

[Jaztheman]

3: Kachra
2: Mark Nicholas
1: Tiger Woods

I don't want to see any professional sportsmen out there!

Quality updates so far, very funny and the humour is just bursting out. Charlie Sheen being a spinner is pure brilliance, especially the way you put it. You've done that for every player though so top notch stuff. Keep it up.

 

[KBC]

GO KACHRA YEY!! ..

Tassilivicious. ..

I can't spell that again.

 

[tassietiger]

FIXTURES AND LEADERSHIP GROUP ANNOUNCED

The Famous XI have held a press conference to announce the fixtures of their much-anticipated world tour, and also the members of their elite leadership group. Firstly, the fixtures were picked using a very loose system which was largely based around starting with some decent teams and finishing with some decent teams as well, to make things more interesting generally.

Game 1 – Famous XI vs. South Africa, 21 January
Game 2 – Famous XI vs. New Zealand, 24 January
Game 3 – Famous XI vs. Sri Lanka, 27 January
Game 4 – Famous XI vs. Pakistan, 30 January
Game 5 – Famous XI vs. England, 2 March
Game 6 – Famous XI vs. West Indies, 5 March
Game 7 – Famous XI vs. India, 8 March
Game 8 – Famous XI vs. Bangladesh, 11 March
Game 9 – Famous XI vs. Australia, 14 March

The leadership group has been announced to include 10 members of the team. The unlucky man to miss out is Mark Nicholas, but it has been said that they were really sorry to have to leave him out, and there was some talk amongst the team about expanding it to an 11-man group, but they decided that was taking it a little too far. The team’s captain was chosen by this group to be Charlie Sheen, as he said that if he wasn’t the captain then he would make sure he was sleeping with the captain’s wife/daughter.

 

[gutterman]

wat about bruce wayne, or gloria gaynor hehe. great works mate very humourous. kutgw