The Trevor Jackson Empire (Jog On Avram)

[Kiko_97]

Do you hate your life?

 

[saladguy]

1) Trevor, how have the players reacted to your appointment.

2) Are your squad capable with winning the title with a random person in charge.

3) Have you been a Chelsea fan all your life???

 

[Roofrom50]

LOL, good update mate, keep up the good work.

I have a question Where did you live? With Chelsea board finding you on the street yelling out stuff, it would be interesting to see where you lived

 

[Dr. Pepper]

Jackson Goes Berserk!​

Newly appointed Chelsea manager Trevor Jackson held his first official interview today at Stamford Bridge. In this interview, the loud-mouthed, middle-aged man lost the plot at the media. He is reported to be a drug user as this behaviour is completely absurd to a normal person. Here is the interview:

Good morning Mr. Jackson.
Shut the f*** up! Just get this over with so I can f***ing go home. A**hole.

Mr. Jackson, how do you feel about becoming Chelsea manager?
Oh I feel wonderful. I feel majestic. I want to ride my unicorn to Fairy Island and prance around like a little freak!

Is it true that you worked at Lloyds Pharmacy before being hired by Chelsea?
I don't know, is it? T***.

Trevor, how have the players reacted to your appointment?
Why the f*** should they care? As long as they get their f***ing paycheques at the end of the month they could have a little kid managing them. They care about one thing, that's money. Who f***ing doesn't?

Are your squad capable with winning the title with a random person in charge?
They've done studies you know. Sixty percent of the time, we can win everytime.

Mr. Jackson, that doesn't make sense.
Maybe you're not smart enough to understand it.

No, that doesn't make sense.
I think you're an a**hole.

Have you been a Chelsea fan all your life?
No you f***ing idiot. How the f*** could I support Chelsea when I was a f***ing baby. You are a right t***.

Do you hate your life?
I hate you.

Why do you hate me?
I don't need a f***ing reason.

Do you choose yes or no?
An interesting question you have laid infront of me, old chap. Yes would be saying yes but no would be saying no. If I were to say yes I would be reacting positively and saying yes. If I were to say no I would be reacting negatively and saying no. There is a fifty-fifty chance of yes or no being chosen from a random generator. I would go with no because I don't like you.

Where did you live? With Chelsea board finding you on the street yelling out stuff, it would be interesting to see where you lived.
I live every where. My spirit flies across the universe touching everyone's souls. I am one with life. I do not need to live.

Do you feel that you need to sign players in the transfer window?
What the f*** are you talking about?

Are you going to sign any players?
I dunno, maybe. It depends. I'll toss a coin.

What will your first act as Chelsea manager be?
TOGA! TOGA! TOGA!

What does that mean Mr. Jackson?
We shall hold a Toga party you w*****.

OK, thank you Mr. Jackson. It's been a pleasure interviewing you.
F*** you.

 

[Kiko_97]

ROFLCOPTER TREVOR JACKSON IS MY HEROOOOO!!!!!
Best interview ever i'm so comfused i'm in pain

 

[saladguy]

Wow. This Trevor Jackson is a right arsehole!

 

[Dr. Pepper]

I beg to differ.

 

[Ayub 95]

Mani gone crazy

 

[mattfb]

Haha nice update Mani. I particular like this bit;

Do you feel that you need to sign players in the transfer window?
What the f*** are you talking about?

 

[Dr. Pepper]

Haha thanks. I made myself lol with that bit, imagine it in a Homer Simpson voice lol.

 

[Dr. Pepper]

Page last updated at 10:59 GMT, Wednesday, 18 July 2007 10:59 UK​

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Chelsea miraculously come back

Terry kisses badge after scoring the winner.​

Man Utd pressed forward straight away with a Scholes-Rooney duet attack. They looked to get Chelsea on the back foot from minute one but their efforts were parried away for a corner by Petr Cech.

A few minutes later and it was Man Utd attacking again. Giggs was the architect this time around playing it inside to a ferocious Paul Scholes. Cech once again made a fabulous save to stop them from going one up.

More minutes passed and it was the same story. Utd were pressing forward with sheer venom but were unable to finish it off. A free-kick came curling in to the box from Ryan Giggs and as the ball scrambled around, Carvalho put himself forward and lunged the ball away.

Man Utd did take the lead however and it was a Patrice Evra finish that put them one ahead. A free-kick from Giggs was blocked by the wall only to have Giggs follow up the chance with a clear pass through to Evra in the box. Evra was left unmarked and he finished the ball marvelously in the bottom right hand corner.

After half an hour of play, Chelsea finally had a chance. Michael Essien won the ball in the centre of midfield and played it on to Tommaso Rocchi. Rocchi played it wonderfully through to Drogba who rocketed the ball sky wide.

However this attack was followed by another minutes later. Some majestical passing and moving football led to Didier Drogba playing the ball through to Tommaso Rocchi but Rocchi's shot went over the bar.

Ryan Giggs won himself and Man Utd a great chance to double their lead just before the half time break. Utd won a free-kick outside the Chelsea box and Giggs tried his luck but was denied by Petr Cech's marvellous instincts.

The half time whistle blew and Trevor Jackson's side was in disarray. They looked totally confused and had no idea what they were doing. Could Jackson's words of wisdom lift them to come back?

Fifteen minutes into the second half, Chelsea broke free from the midfield prison with a Frank Lampard gallop. Lampard played it on to Rocchi who got through into the box but had his shot flown over the bar by Van der Sar.

Somehow though, Chelsea managed to level the scoreline. Didier Drogba magically controlled a long ball and played it into the middle to Andry Shevchenko. Shevchenko tried his luck from twenty yards and suceeded with the help of a deflection sending the keeper the wrong way and bringing Chelsea back.

Suddenly Chelsea had a new life. In the eighty third minute they had a corner with Ricardo Quaresma. Quaresma's corner was blocked but he picked the ball up again and pummeled into along the ground into the box in hope of it hitting someone. John Terry, like a prime forward, managed to place the ball into the bottom corner and into the back of the net. The Chelsea fans were ecstatic as Terry ran to the corner flag with his team mates and kissed his badge with pride.

The referee blew the final whistle and there was a pandemonium in the stands, all you could see was blue, whether it was the Chelsea fans or the Utd fans in agony. Chelsea managed to stun everyone by miraculously coming back to win the game.

 

[Jaztheman]

Wow, fantastic result for Jackson and Chelsea. Coming back from 1-0 down to win 2-1 against Manure is no easy feat, hopefully Chelsea can keep this form up. Sheva scoring from twenty yards like he used to...

Brilliant match report, Mani, keep this going.

 

[mattfb]

Great win for Chelsea. Always big to win against a top 4 team. Great match report Mani, nice and neat and not to complicated or complex. kiu!

 

[Dr. Pepper]

Page last updated at 10:59 GMT, Wednesday, 18 July 2007 10:59 UK​

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Chelsea make last minute shock signings

Shocking signings by Jackson.​

Trevor Jackson ended the final day of the transfer market with a squad size of two extra. Jackson made three shock signings and also sold off light-hearted winger Shaun Wright-Phillips. Jackson got the signatures of Jimmy Bullard, Titus Bramble and Michael Owen in the closing hours of the transfer market.

Titus Bramble was the first signing to be confirmed and arguably the most shocking. The twenty six year old centre back signed for a fee of ?5.25 million. It was quite impressive business by Wigan Athletic, who swooped him on a free, only just earlier this season.

At the same time, Shaun Wright-Phillips move away from Stamford Bridge was confirmed as Newcastle signed the twenty five year old England international for a fee of ?10 million. Wright-Phillips declared that he was relieved by the move and he was looking forward to working with Sam Allardyce.

A few hours later, Jackson made another shock signing. He got the signature of the tireless midfielder, Jimmy Bullard from Fulham for a sum of ?10 million. The former Fulham and Wigan midfielder is yet to be called up by England and is already twenty eight years old. Critics questioned Jackson's decision to sign him with plenty of other players available.

Finally with ten minutes left in the transfer window, Jackson left the best for last. Trevor Jackson persuaded Michael Owen away from Newcastle to Stamford Bridge for a fee of only ?10 million. Owen was delighted to have joined Chelsea and was looking to get as much sucess as possible at the club.

Jackson said this at the press conference "Whoever doubts me can f*** off. This is my club, I'm the manager. As if you people know anything about football. You're a bunch of Oxford graduates who just suck a**es to get where you are. I know exactly what I'm doing. You can go home and stick to your Football Manager, I'm doing the real thing." Another unforgetable interview from Trevor Jackson.

 

[Jaztheman]

Titus Bramble at Chelsea.

The other signings aren't too bad with Jimmy Bullard being very highly rated by myself. I wouldn't rate him high enough for Chelsea, however, and neither do I rate an ageing Michael Owen good enough for Chelsea. Both will have to prove themselves greatly. Titus Bramble though, legend that he is will no doubt score millions of own goals and will have many a blunder.

Good presentation and such, Mani, in this wonderully realistic story.